None Can Compare

 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself without comparing himself to somebody else 

Galatians 6:4

"If only I had more money...if only I had her body...her family...her car...their house...his education...that job...that life..." and on and on the comparer goes, straight into discontentment. And sometimes it goes this way, "Why can't you do what this person does or that person does, or be this way or that way..." leading the subject of the comparer feeling inadequate. Or every time you tell them something, they have to jump in with their story and compare the details of their story with yours, therefore dismissing the love and support you may be needing at that particular moment. We've all done it at some point or another, or may be doing it at this moment, and it doesn't feel good–if we're paying attention, that is. Comparing everything constantly is a dangerous, joy-sucking habit.  Having a strong sense of our worth and identity in Christ will keep us from falling into the enemy's comparison trap. 1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. If we know who we are in Christ, we won't be searching for ourselves in everyone we see. 

When we compare ourselves to others, we may believe that others have better health, more joy-filled lives, a better family, more fun, a more successful career, or whatever it is you think you don't have or should have. It's our pride that gets us thinking WE deserve what someone else has. The enemy wants us believing this! 1 Peter 5:8-9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. You may start resenting others for the blessings they are receiving, because your life isn't going so well right now. Why is their spouse always so thoughtful, while yours is forgetful? How does she stay so thin while you struggle with weight issues? Look at their kids being so wonderful while yours are terrible. All of these comparison-thieves can only lead down one road, and that is a joy-killing, bumpy ride. People who constantly compare themselves to others can become lonely, depressed, and develop low self-esteem, and that is just the short list. James 3:16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. The enemy likes to use envy as a trap, because it gets us thinking that God favors someone more than us. This is not how God works at all. Luke 9:48b For he who is least among you all–he is the greatest. We are created in the image of God. That is no small thing. 

Comparing everything sends a message to ourselves that we don't think what or even who God already gave us is good enough. Constantly evaluating instead of appreciating takes our focus off of God, puts it on ourselves, and renders us unable to be truly happy for others when they succeed. John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. When we are always judging instead of praising, we are in a  dangerous position of getting down and dirty in our own flesh. This is where pride, self-righteousness, envy, bitterness, ungratefulness, misery, insecurity, and low self worth reside. This is also where the enemy seeks to validate all of that mess in order to keep you right there, hating on yourself, and seeking to destroy you and your relationships. Genesis 30:1 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any more children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Comparison can not only create a disconnection of relationships, but also causes desperation. It can keep us from freely loving people, because we can become so dissatisfied and discouraged with our own lives that we cannot even appreciate the joy in others' lives. We miss out on our own life and theirs. Even if blessings were there, we wouldn't even see them! If we spent as much time counting blessings as we did comparing, we would be reaping the joy from those blessings. 2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. A shift in perspective is often what is needed in order to see what God may be doing in our lives. 

It's important to know that comparison isn't always a bad thing, as we can look at our blessings and be grateful for them, while seeing others who are in need. Those types of comparisons show gratitude and humility and the ability to be compassionate toward the plights of others, and move us to help. Philippians 4:11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. The poor widow in the Bible who gave her two small copper coins worth less than a penny, continues to touch my heart and remind me that giving truly comes from a grateful heart. (Mark 12:42-44) She certainly wasn't comparing her life to the rich who threw in only what they didn't need. Jesus made this comparison to show that riches are not important to God, but giving is. 

Other types of comparisons come from a place of needing to keep score, or be validated in some way. When someone compares you to someone else, it can evoke certain reactions and responses, and not always favorable ones. Whether done in an inferior or superior way, it is still a sign that a person is evaluating you and may at some point look past you for something or someone better. It says, 'you're okay now, but at some point, you may not be', so the relationship could become very unstable. 1 John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. And that's just one of the problems when we compare. It puts us in a judgment seat that we have no business sitting in. When we compare, we aren't relaxing or celebrating. We aren't seeing people as uniquely created individuals. We're expecting them to fit some kind of standard we have set for them, based on some kind of insecurity we have in ourselves. Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

 Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. See, comparison is messy both ways. When we are doing it, we can put others into a place of defense and dissatisfaction with them. When we are hearing it, it can be disappointing and hurtful. It can give the impression that we need to fulfill some kind of image for them. However, (this may come as a shock to some) we do not need the approval of people. Some of us need to hear this a little louder than others. We only seek the approval of the Lord. Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. We serve the Lord, not the fickle wishes and desires of people. As a recovering people-pleaser, I have to continually seek God's help with this. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Sometimes we forget that we are to love people–not fix them, change them, compare them, rate them, judge them, gossip about them, or make them a list of expectations they should not have to fill because they've just been compared to someone else. And likewise, we don't need to jump through hoops to gain the approval or love of others. Real love is kind. 

I believe with any bad habit, the first step to overcoming it is acknowledging that you have a problem with it. Ask God to show you how you have hurt yourself or others with it, and ask Him to help you focus on Him as He changes you. He tells us we are more than conquerors! Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. As a person in the flesh, we often think we have to force things. Try to lose weight, try to exercise, try to stop this habit or that habit. This is no different, except that it's a spirit sickness. When we fix our eyes on God and nothing else–not other people, not our own strength, not a miracle program, not a fad on Tik Tok –only then will we be able to go forward with a real heart, mind, and spirit change. All other changes are only temporary because they depend on our will to continue with them, and we are weak. Hebrews 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. He understands, so let Him help! 

I once read that if we are going to compare ourselves to anyone, it should be Jesus. And perhaps that's the only comparison we should be making that won't hurt anyone. He loves us, He gives us grace, and He doesn't compare us to anyone else. He spent time on earth as a man so He could know us. Isaiah 53:2-3 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hid their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Jesus, who appeared as an ordinary man, led an extraordinary life. He understands us better than anyone, loves us more than anyone, and yet, "we esteemed him not and rejected him." This proves that we've been wrong about people since the beginning of time. And this is why we will always need a Savior. 

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

Today's Prayer: 

Lord, thank You for making me who I am. I know that I am made in Your image, exactly as You designed me to be, and You do not want me to compare myself to anyone else, or compare others. Please help me to keep my eyes on You and help me to reach the special purpose for which I am called. Help me to cheer on others, and to be a support to those who may come to me as they fulfill their unique purposes. Help me to have the faith and trust in You to make the changes in my life to become more like You. Thank You for your love and faithfulness. In Jesus' precious name. Amen.