A "National Lampoon's" Style Vacation

Yes, I know...the 4th of July holiday has come and gone. Yet, I am still harboring such contempt over the memories of that fateful weekend. I know this is long, yet there are so many things I can teach through this experience! One of them is to never leave home without your own toilet, but we'll get to that later. To make a long story short, (and I will try) we arrived at the cottage a night earlier than my parents in hopes of getting the lawn mowed before they arrived. What we found out the next morning was that the power at our house had gone out hours after we left, and my dad was at our house running the generator for us. Not only that, he slept in his car while he made sure everything was running fine. My dad is pretty healthy, but he's no spring chicken. So, they were late getting up to their own cottage the next day. That is, after their emergency stop on the way. Apparently some of the siding slid out of their pickup into the road, and of course, they had to backtrack to find it. Was that enough? Nope. It gets better. So, the guys began siding the cottage, which was going well. It was pretty hot and sunny, and Steve and Dad were working right in the sun most of the day. We soon noticed that the toilet wasn't flushing as exuberantly as it should. In denial, we just kept on with our day, hoping it would somehow correct itself. Well, the situation soon called for immediate attention, that's all I will say. I had to go to my dad and sheepishly say, "Dad, I think you better take a look at the toilet." These are the times I am glad I'm a girl. Well, turns out, old Mr. Septic tank had a major clog somewhere and the only way to unstick it was to dig it! So, the siding tools retired for the day, and the shovels came out. Of course, it hadn't been dug up in about 15 years. Do you think they'd remember exactly where the drain tubes were? Nope. You just have to guess at it. Steve began digging, and just kept digging until the yard looked like a war zone. My dad just kept scratching his head in disbelief. Meanwhile, that sun raged on, and the bladders were still working full time too. Natalie, not realizing what was going on, came back to ask her dad ever so sweetly why he was digging up the yard. His reply, "I'm gettin' us some worms to go fishing tonight!" Her horrified look was accompanied by her innocent reply, "Well, why ya gotta dig up the whole yard just for that!!?" Meanwhile, mom and I were feeling guilty, so we decided to find us a job to to as well. We went down to the beach to rake up leaves and pull weeds. Easy. We do it every year. Mom pulled out a bunch of leaves from under the wooden beach step and out popped several mice, 2 adults, which used mom's shoe as a catapult, and 6 nearly blind babies, struggling to run. Natalie and Serena began screaming, not out of fear, but because they didn't want to hurt the mice! They lovingly picked up each baby mouse and placed it safely in the woods. My mom and I were grossed out, horrified, but laughing hysterically at our own reactions! So, then she makes the most ominous comment, "Well, at least with the mice here, we know there are no snakes!" Why she had to say that, I will never know. So our youngest, Serena, was playing in the water when I noticed some odd movements. At first thought, I assumed it was a turtle or a water bug of some kind, so I jokingly said, "Hey, you better get out of there, it could be a snake." Why I said that, I will never know. So, she started to run out of the water and on the way, startled a very large black snake, which wriggled and swam right beside her, past my mom, and back into the other side of the dock. When I realized it was a snake, I screamed, and like the good mom I am, I ran AWAY from my poor daughter! Fortunately for my guilty conscience, she ran the same way. So, that was the end of playing in the water for the rest of our 5 day vacation. I will never forget my mom, the tough Grandma-snake hunter, trying to kill it with a shovel from the dock. I think she gave it quite a scare and a lecture about scaring her grandbabies! Steve heard us carrying on, but didn't come down to see what was up. He knows by now how pointless it is to react to my every scream, since I am afraid of my own shadow. So, I marched up there and told him how the King Cobra came after our baby (she's 8), nearly killed us all, and he just stood there drinking his soda, with a smirk on his filthy, septic digging face. But then again, he had just stood in a hole with his hand in a septic tube, letting oogy water gush all over his shoes. Yes, he's my knight in shining armor after all! After all that excitement, we drove into town to watch the 4th of July parade in the nearby lake town. It was like deja vu, same people, same songs, same spot, same stingy kid who runs in front of mine to steal candy, same sunburned feet, you get the idea. Later that night we would go into town for the fireworks, and more crazy stuff would happen with a guy carrying a beverage in a brown sack. I just refuse to go there. Anyway, Steve lit off his annual fireworks display, some legal, some maybe not! This year, the girls and I had to come up with different ways to clap or cheer to show how much we loved each firework (a Rogers tradition) . Some of our antics were pretty silly and downright dumb, but we were all laughing and the stress of the day just flushed away! I am still sore from doing that cheerleader jump thing, and I'm pretty sure my parents wonder if I'm on something. Our trip ended on Monday morning with us packing in a rainstorm. All of the lawn stuff was still outside, soaking wet, and the flies had recently hatched. But, I'm just not gonna go there!! I am now a big proponent of the "stay-cation", and yes, traveling with your own toilet is not a bad idea.