Getting Better

Well, I couldn't just leave you hanging, so here's my update. Thanks to whoever is praying for me, I finally got 2 nights of uninterrupted sleep! So, thank you! I started Physical Therapy on Wednesday, or shall I call it "physical torture"? They think I don't have sciatica, but that it is bursitis. Exactly what I've been thinking all along, but we still won't know for sure until we give the therapy some more time. So, right now I'm not allowed to do much of anything, because everything irritates the already inflamed bursa. That sounds really elderly, doesn't it?? I can't swim, run, walk long distances, ride my bike, or do stairs. The girls are loving that last one. No bedroom checks! All I want to know is why they can't ban laundry, dishes, and cooking???

Anyway, the therapy is very painful, and I'm not noticing improvement yet. Today was just as bad as yesterday, but I did leave with a cortisone patch. My new beta blocker is making me tired, but should help with all the heart "burps" and my migraines. And here Steve thought my heart palpitations were all about him. Thanks to my doc and my God, things are finally making progress.

So, hopefully I am on the mend, as being chronically ill has taken its toll on me. It took me back to a time in my life where I was dominated by illness. I began to revisit those old feelings of helplessness, bitterness, anger, and fear. A firm believer in prayer and a person of faith, I really had no words to pray for myself. I was just frustrated! Why God Why?? When God When?? How GOd How?? What God What??

At the same time all of this was going on, my brother went through some things in his life which have led him to a 90 day rehab facility. While it is a blessing that he is finally getting some help, we are all aware of the very difficult road/mountain ahead of him. When one person in your family is an addict or an alcoholic, you can all be part of the problem and can also be a part of the solution.

I pray quite frequently for my brother, and I have for years. One day I was saying something like, "i know he's made a lot of mistakes and he doesn't always do the right thing..." and I thought, isn't that all of us?? I'm not a drug addict or an alcoholic, but I'm not sin-free either. I need God's forgiveness and grace daily. He sent His Son to die for me and He sent His Son to die for Tim. It gave me tremendous peace to know that while Tim is going to have a hard road ahead, the Lord will never leave his side.

So, things are getting better. Like my brother's rehab and my chronic pain, sometimes things have to get really bad before they get better. And isn't that how God works ? He really has to destroy things sometimes in order to begin repair. If we can just remember His promises to us, we can focus on the repair and let Him be in charge of the storms! It's all good.