Monday, June 28, 2010

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Last week the girls and I had lunch and a visit with G & G Big Blue House. Mom needed some landscaping advice, and we had a chance to catch up on other things. As usual, I wasn't feeling well, and after my PT appointments, I usually feel worse! I'm not a baby about pain, but really, it's ridiculous! They actually ask me questions throughout the therapy, as if I can actually respond! What am I doing today? Soaking in a large tub of ice, thanks to you!! Where does my husband work? He's a hitman for people who cause pain to his wife!! Seriously, do they know how much that hurts? They seem not to notice.

On Saturday, Natalie and I headed out to breakfast and for a 1/2 birthday shopping trip for Serena! Her actual half birthday was the 27th, but we wanted her to think we weren't doing anything this year. So, we bought the cake, the ice cream and some new decorations, plus a couple of inexpensive gifts. The emphasis is really on just recognizing that her birthday 2 days after Christmas often gets a little deflated. After 2 days of opening gifts and eating cookie after cookie, no one is too enthused about birthday stuff. It's sad. So, we threw her a surprise summer birthday bash again, complete with some new surprises.

For one, we got Daddy to take Serena out for some shopping and an Icee. Then Natalie and I went to work decorating the gazebo and making signs for all along the driveway. We turned up 101.7 and cheered when she got home! We hula hooped (well, not me), danced on the deck, played badminton, water balloons, and of course, ate her favorite meal and lots of cake! Serena loved her surprise and even more, loved that we cared enough to surprise her too! She also gets a sleepover with the friend of her choice!

As a family, there's nothing more important than celebrating each other, and being grateful for each other's presence. You really never know when your last moment with someone will be, so why not enjoy every one you have??

On Sunday, we had planned to see a movie together. Steve's been pretty busy with that patio, and was ready for a break. However, I came home from helping out at church not feeling quite myself. I don't know if it was a side effect thing or what, but I ended up in bed most of the day. So, once again, plans diverted. I woke up to Serena making me a raspberry cream pie, and Natalie painting a picture of the flowers on the front porch. Steve was making dinner, and no one complained about missing the movie. I am very loved and very blessed. I can't even tell you.

I haven't really spoken to many of my friends lately, since I tend to stick to myself when I'm not feeling well. I guess I don't want all the sympathy and attention. What I do tend to need is understanding. Today I had a visit with a friend and it left me feeling as if she really didn't understand how I was feeling. That's a lonely thing. I already feel a bit isolated as it is, I'm over tired, feeling frustrated, then I get the "uh-huh" kind of thing. So, I shouldn't let it bother me, right? It is true. I can't let that bother me. I have enough people who are close enough to me to know I need a little extra these days. They are the same ones who know that although I don't have much extra, I would still give them something if they needed me.

I lost friends over my migraines years ago, and I guess it's a fear of mine that when you start having physical problems, no one wants to be around you. You become work. Well, I don't want to be "work", but I do need my close friends to know why I can't always jump in when they'd like me to. I hope that I don't act like that to the friends of mine who struggle physically sometimes. I hope that we can all see past the outside and appreciate the inside, because that's really where it's at.

The Lord knows how I appreciate the good days, and I have hope that "this too shall pass". I'm much too fiesty, stubborn, wild-hairy to be knocked down quite so soon! I guess I need to pull out a little more Irish and get busy!

Take care, my friends. I know who you are, and I love you!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jami,
I am sorry that you are not feeling well! I cannot imagine going through migraines like you do. My mom used to have them when I was young and she was usually down for the whole day. I will pray for you and for solutions to your physical needs to be found.
Love ya sister!
Jenn Dana

Anonymous said...

Let me know when you're ready for that Moca Frape. Cause I could use a couple right now.

Love ya, Pam

Anonymous said...

I love your celebration of the 1/2 birthday. I wish you could have been my mom you are so creative and fun. Hang in their sweetie. Connie

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