Things that Go "WHOOSH" in the Night

I got myself scared silly last night, or shall I say way early this morning! Sophie decided she needed to go out at 3:15am, and Steve of course, was snoozing away in Texas. I always make a bunch of noise before I go outside at those hours, so I opened the big garage door and stepped out in my robe and slippers, hoping Sophie would do a quick business. She felt like wandering a bit, so I just stood in the driveway, watching her poke around. Suddenly I hear this rustling sound followed by a weird whooshing sound. It kept going every few seconds, each time alerting me to the fact that it was 3:15am, I'm alone in the woods, and my husband isn't here to protect me! (But Smith, Wesson, and Brinks is, by the way....don't tick off the Irish girl. I shoot to kill) Anyway....the sound seemed to be getting closer!

I couldn't wait for her to come back to me, so I rushed out in the yard and scooped her up ( I say it loosely. She's a 50 pound brick) and scurried back to the house, shutting the door behind me. I then opened up the french doors to see if I could still hear that noise. (so brave and foolish, I know) Turns out it wasn't a rabid coyote mother with babies, an axe murdering squirrel, a demented pack of bears (pack?) or anything else that would make me pee my pants. It was just our sprinkler, which is set to go off in 30 minute intervals at weird times. Imagination weirdation. But hey, it was 3:15am. And scary dark out there, even with the security lights. Dark, I tell you! At 3:15am! Scary! Alone! Ok, you get it...:)

So, it took me well over an hour to get back to sleep, and then I was awakened again by the sounds of my girls screaming upstairs. I'm hearing blood curdling screams in the middle of the night! Or so I thought. Turns out I was just having a nightmare, which I have from time to time. I said a quick prayer, and got back to sleep just in time to hear the alarm go off. Sigh...

So, tonight, hubby is coming home! He's on the plane as we speak. I made him a batch of his favorite cookies today to welcome him home. Add to that a pile of bills, an ailing dog, and oh boy, who wouldn't just rush right home to all that?? I guess he's a bit crazy. He'd have to be to put up with me!!

Coffee and Oatmeal

I'm finding pleasure in simple things these days, since my world is a bit small for the moment! Since things were getting a bit stressful for me, I decided that I needed to eat better and sleep more. That can also mean taking a little power nap in the middle of the day. Yes, the middle of the day. It also means eating healthier, because we should know by now that stress can cause you to gain or lose weight, and never in a healthy way. So, back to the fruits and veggies for me. I have felt much better already.

My daily breakfast has been simple ole oatmeal. Not the cement kind you get in hotel buffets, no way! I cook up a batch of regular oatmeal, then add "pie and cookies" to it. "Pie" means adding fruit, such as apples, then a bit of vanilla, brown sugar, a splash of milk, and a sprinkle of apple pie spice. Top it off with a handful of walnuts (omega 3's) and watch a little TV. So relaxing. Today I had "Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal". I made the girls pumpkin pancakes for breakfast this morning, so I had a little pumpkin (actually a lot) left over. I added a spoonful to my oatmeal with my vanilla, brown sugar, and milk, then topped it with chopped pecans and pumpkin pie spice. Yummy!

My girls are particularly fond of "Oatmeal cookie Oatmeal", and it's a no-brainer. Just add raisins, nuts, vanilla, brown sugar, milk, and a little cinnamon on top. That's how I got them to eat it in the first place! Now they love to experiment with their oatmeal flavors. We just think "cookies and pie", and the ideas come rushing in. You can always cut back on the sugar and use skim milk to make it even healthier. I find that oatmeal keeps me full until lunchtime too! Sometime I'll tell you about my doctored tomato soup too!

My coffee has also had a makeover. I love cappuccino, but refuse to pay $4 for it! So, I bought the instant cappuccino mix. I take about 2 teaspoons of it, add a little of my fat free vanilla creamer, microwave it for about 25 seconds, then take it out and whip it with my tiny whippy dipper thing. (got it at the dollar store for free!)It froths up like a real cappuccino, then you just add your regular coffee to it. I sometimes add cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice, or I use flavored coffee to start. A good one is cinnamon vanilla nut.

Another stress reliever for me is to use room sprays or candles. I just spritz a little spray here and there, and it's instant tranquility.

It's the little things that keep me going, I've always said. I am trying hard not to let my temporary situation derail me. I've been asked why I'm keeping my dog alive right now. Well, let me just say that you would be lucky to be my dog. If you're still happy to see me, you're still walking and wagging your tail, you still love treats and snuggling, then I will do everything in my power to make you happy until you decide you can't be happy anymore. When she gives up, I will give up too. And it will be our decision, no one else's!!

Until then, I will enjoy my oatmeal and coffee....and my Sophie dog too.

What Else...

So here's what else is going on around the neighborhood besides our Sophie problem...

in the yard...

the leaves are changing, the air is cooler, fall decorations are goin' up!
the turkeys are mocking Steve, playing in the sandbox and eating his grass seed!
mama deer is hanging out with her twins, enjoying the sun
the lawn chairs are getting ready to be put up for the season
the fire pit is awaiting the final bonfire of the year
The mums and roses are gorgeous
there is a lot of work to do!~

in the barn...

mushrooms (oysters, shiitakes, mitakes) are growing
mice are probably hunkering down in something I will touch in the spring
my bike is dusty from being ignored all summer! :(

in the house....

apple, pumpkin, and fall scented candles are everywhere!
the fall decorations are in every room, every corner, and make me smile
the jasmine tree is blooming, my grandma's plant is going crazy
Serena's room is all done and is so cute! I wish it was mine!
The scrapbook/computer/piano room became the family room
The dining room became the piano/sitting room
The dining room table went to the kitchen
The kitchen table went to the basement
The basement love seat, tv and stand came up to the family room
The scrapbook stuff went to our bedroom
The dresser from the bedroom went to the kitchen
new white board and bulletin board were installed in the family info area
The computer and office stuff went to the nook in the living room
The cookbooks found a new home in a brand new shelf unit for the kitchen
The red chair from the living room went to the sitting room
The dining room lamp went to the living room
...and it all looks great!



The Kids brains...

getting ready for another week of school, games, activities and chores
shopping at the mall


Steve's Brain...

preparing for his trip
trying to get chores done for fall
football
mushrooms

My brain...

my new eating plan
wondering how to spend my birthday money
chores
the busy week ahead
and many other things!

That's "what else" !!!

Faith is Easy, but Trust?

So,Sophie is still hanging in there, but nothing has changed. Steve is leaving for a few days on another trip. I just hope nothing happens while he's gone. Life is so dang stressful sometimes! I've been told that I'm not complaining. That sometimes you need to release your burdens and talk it over. Burdens are different than complaints. It made me feel better about all my lamenting these days. Thank you. This too shall pass. See why I don't talk politics now??? Too much complaining. Not enough solving.

Natalie had been complaining about her knee for awhile, and it finally came to a head during practice last week. Fast forwarding....she's starting physical therapy on Monday. Doc says her knees are the "floppiest" he's ever seen. She's super flexible and double jointed, and we just thought it was cool. Evidently with a 3 inch growth spurt in a year, that causes problems on the bones, joints, and ligaments. Oh, what do I know??? So, now we have a couple issues. Nat absolutely loves Volleyball and was so excited to be on the starting lineup each game. It was really the first time she knew this was her game. She was starting to be confident about her athletic ability, she was finally not sitting the bench. Now she may not even get to play. Who can I even be mad at? No one and it makes me madder. Why???? I'm sorry, I just have to ask!! Maybe I just have too many frustrations at once. Maybe I'm just sick and tired of having to fight through everything and nothing ever seems to get any better. Maybe I need Calgon to take me away. Sometimes it's just too much at once. "Joy in suffering..."??? That is Truth, but hubba- whaaa??? Back up the taxi, I'm gettin' off!!! Let me just say "WAAAAAAH" too, just for good measure.

Like why 10 year olds have to deal with periods when they haven't even learned the facts of life yet! Why 12 year olds who already have to deal with severe scoliosis and acne also have to put up with knee issues already! Like why I have arthritis in my back when I just told my daughter I'd take tennis lessons with her.
Don't you ever feel like that? Like, yes, I know there is a God, and I know His promises to me, but I still feel like crap anyway? Then you feel like crap for feeling like crap! Put others above yourselves, help others, quit being a baby, (or something sorta like that) I know, I know! But I blow, I blow!!

I'm not so self-centered not to realize that there are people way worse off than me. I also know that if you have a broken ankle, it hurts, even if your friend has a broken leg too. I guess one of my problems is that when things in my life are out of control or unbearable, I look to my kids and watch their joy. When they aren't happy, I'm not happy either. Oh, crap! Now what?? That whole "depending on others for your happiness" thing really stinks, doesn't it?

Yes, I turn to the Word (yesiree, I really do) and look up all the verses on joy and hardship, suffering, and all topics related. I pray. I talk it over. I wait. I get impatient.(so human of me, i know) In case you hadn't noticed, I am not perfect. I don't have it all together, horror of all horrors, I know. Life is hard. Having a husband and kids is hard, even if they are the very j in your "joy". Having bills to pay, health concerns, friends in trouble, siblings, ill parents, etc... it's all part of a big, sometimes messy life. I have spent a couple of paragraphs perhaps venting, you may say, but I've also let you know that leaning on God is not easy for me sometimes, though I know He is the key to surviving anything. Learn from this mistake-making stubborn, sometimes brooding Irish girl. Let God have it, and I don't mean your temper. Let God have your burdens right along with your praise. He wants it all. This I have seen. I can be in the middle of being negative, and a joyful thought will pop into my head. It's like kryptonite. Power!!

Life is hard. It's never what you expect. It's sometimes wonderful, and sometimes unbearable. Some days are diamonds, some days are just crap, but God is bigger, I know. God is bigger and sweeter and more important than me. I get it.

Bittersweet Emotions

On March 27, 1996, Steve brought home our first child. She was black and white, fuzzy, and a complete stinker. She was the only one at the pound who came running to the front of her cage, barking and jumping furiously at Steve. "Take me!" She seemed to say. She rode on Steve's lap all the way home. When he carried her through the door, all I could see from beneath the cabinets were these long, fuzzy legs. Before I even saw the rest of her, I exclaimed, "She's perfect!"

As much as I would love to go on and on about the joy she has brought to all of us, I just can't. Sadly, I know her end is near. She is declining fast. That playful, mischievous puppy has turned into a slow, struggling senior dog. She is still sweet, loving, cuddly, and gentle. Her spirit is still strong, but her body is failing her and there is nothing I can do about it. Stinkin' circle of life thing.

I have been struggling to care for her, as lifting her is painful on my back. Even more painful is the constant worry in my heart over how the end will be. Will we need to make that decision? Will she just go while she's dreaming of chasing bunnies? How will the girls handle it? How will we fill the void of having a faithful, loving companion for the last 14 1/2 years?

I have cried while telling her goodbye at least 5 times. I have prayed for her, as silly as that sounds to some. Don't forget, she is God's creation too, and while she's not as important as a human, God knows she is important to us. And we are important to God. He knows my tears, even those shed over my dog. They are all counted and that, I know for sure.

So, I will wait. I will continue to stay home as much as I can, caring for her every need. I will carry her outside, clean off her poo, step in her pee, and feed her by hand. Not because I'm a saint, but because that's what you do when someone or something needs you so badly. She's not in pain, her labs came back good, so we have to believe this is just old age and what comes with it. We won't let her stick around just to make us happy, that's for sure.

Please keep us in your prayers. I know 2 girls who love her dearly, in fact, grew up with her since birth, who will be heartbroken by her loss. We will be needing guidance as far as how and when to make a painful decision, if it comes to that.

For now, her tail is still wagging, and she still seems happy to be with us. I guess she's trying to tell me to take it one moment at a time. We go from being able to talk about it to avoiding it all together. From talking about where to bury her to crying at the drop of a hat. It won't be easy, I know.

One thing I know right now is I will not want another dog. I'm sticking to goldfish. I have no problem flushing those floaters!

Hey Strangers

Just poppin' in to say "hey" to my peeps. Whoever you are! Hey, strangers, I just celebrated my birthday yesterday! See, that's stuff you don't tell people you know because they'd say "oops...I forgot!" Well, some didn't forget, and some of those people got cake!! Too bad for you, person I do not know. It was chocolate with buttercream icing and it said, "Happy Birthday, Mommy". Mommy. That's me! I used to think my favorite birthdays were when I was a kid. Nope. They've been the best since I've had my kids. They make every birthday feel like a monumental celebration! Steve's the mastermind behind it all, and he is an awesome birthday planner. I'm just too dang lucky. It's a crime, really.

My oldest daughter played her first Volleyball game on my birthday. She's really good! Of course, #17 here wasn't so shabby either! Guess the genes are good for more than just beauty. Oh, I am snarkin' on you tonight! She played most of the game and fell asleep in the car on the way to KFC. Oh, yes. We celebrate with chicken around here. We are very fancy people.

School has gotten off to a great start for both girls. Serena came home from her first day and said, "Mom, I love love love Mrs. LeFevre!! She's great! She's funny, she's cool, etc...". Truly, she's right. Those 5th and 6th grade teachers are the best, if you ask me. All we had to do was make it through one bad year, and now we're set. Any apprehensions we had before school started have been resolved. And Who do you think was responsible for that?? It is clear to me now what God is trying to do. And what He is doing needs to be done right where she's at. I've always been a firm, strong believer in having Christian kids in our school system. When I was in school, it was the Christian kids who talked to the kids no one else would talk to. It was the Christian kid who invited people to church. It was the Christian kid who prayed with you when you cut your arm on a glass door. I had forgotten all of that and got wrapped up in my own desires to "protect" my kids. The fact is, my kids are probably there for someone else in the first place, just like those kids from my past were there for me! Ding...went the loud bell in my head as I would pray about this. I will say that this was my answer. Maybe your answer was something else. It's a comfort to know that God's answers are tailored individually for each of us! That just means He is listening and working it all out!

Natalie loves 7th grade. Loves Ms. Pitchford, the principal, and yes, she is fabulous, I must agree! She runs a tight ship and it shows! Pastor Shannon comes to the school at lunch and not only leads prayer, but has his lunch there just so he can interact with those kids. Not just the Christian kids, but ALL of them! Natalie has several of her friends praying with her at the flagpole in front of the school, and she is just ecstatic about it. The teachers are plugged in, interested in the kids, and make learning fun. Natalie still loves band with the cool Mr. Burkhart, and is enjoying her first season of Volleyball.

I guess what I am most happy about is that they have a passion for learning, for practicing what they know about Christ, for trying new things, and for having good attitudes! It makes my job so much easier!

Speaking of my job, I have been busy painting bedrooms! Serena's is first, then I'll move to Natalie's. The kitchen will be next. I have a lot of organizational jobs to start as well. This house will be ship shape in no time.

I'm not in ship shape, however. Although I've been painting, it hasn't been without great difficulty. My body is just not working well. I have some preliminary information about my MRI result, but will share that with you as I learn more details. I've decided that no matter what happens, I will do what I want to do. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! (Phil. 4:13)

So, strangers, nosy rosies, busybodies, or for my caring friends, I will talk to you later!!