Tuesday, February 11, 2020

I Can....Because of You!

Today's post was going to include a couple of photos of my new inspiration, but due to technology and the dreaded "updates", my computers can't perform. Isn't that ironic? All these performance updates, and now more things don't work! Isn't that just a metaphor for the world these days? I could go on and on...but I will just succeed in frustrating me and you.

Speaking of frustrations, having a chronic illness means my body tells me "no" quite often. All the things I used to enjoy, such as a long walk, a game of tennis, a bike ride, shopping excursions, or pretty much anything physical, are slowly taken away. They are replaced by short walks at home, lots of sitting, lots of watching everyone else do the things I love, and sometimes grieving for the things I miss. In other words, it's not fun being a spectator.

I've had a few years of this, and it's taken some time to adjust to all of these changes. I imagine anyone going through something life-changing would understand. I've seen stories of people learning they have Parkinson's or Multiple Sclerosis,  losing limbs or becoming paraplegic or quadriplegic, or having a stroke, and in all of these cases, there is a mourning period. There is a time when people need to go through all the stages of losing what they had and accepting their new reality. I've also observed two people with the same disease experience completely opposite abilities. This is why I stress so much that we can't compare pain or people.  It's important not to call one person "strong" because they are handling it so much better than someone else. The fact is, we have no idea what another person is going through.

After realizing that there were things I lost with my illness, I also discovered there were still things I could do, just not as easily as before, and not as often. Everything I do requires planning. Some things I do require last minute planning, and that's why I do most everything by myself. I don't expect anyone else to be able to go when I can go and leave when I have to leave or put up with my sudden urge to leave and go home. It keeps me free to relax when I am able to run an errand or go to a store, however I have become a bit of a loner. I'm wondering how many other people with chronic illness feel this way. Maybe we could hang out...LOL

As for the inspiration I wanted to share, I really wanted to show you the pictures of my new exercise motivation system! But as computers go, they will not download, so here's a visual. I have 2 jars sitting on my kitchen windowsill. One jar says "I", the other says "C an" The initials read boldly "IC", which also stands for my condition, Interstitial Cystitis. In those jars are some tongue depresssors with one exercise written on each one. These are exercises I can achieve when not in extreme pain. Some of them say "biceps", "triceps" , "PT exercises" , "yoga", "stretching", and 11 more that I can usually safely do. These sticks motivate me to exercise every day, all the while "sticking it to IC"! It helps me to see the goal I achieved when I move the stick from the "I" jar to the "Can" jar at the end of the day. Yesterday I "stuck" to it and placed 9 sticks in the jar!

I am so thankful to God every day that I still have the ability to move my body and use my mind and that there are days my pain allows me to enjoy a walk to my mailbox. I appreciate every single time I can do a push-up without hurting my shoulders, because it wasn't too long ago I had limited use of both shoulders! I am grateful that my depression has been under control since I learned to meditate and visualize my negative thoughts away. Combining that with my daily prayer has helped me to realize I don't have to give in to this illness or the many mental rabbit holes it threatens to chase me down. I have a long road of healing to do and many unanswered questions, but taking control of my health helps me to gain authority over my body again, instead of allowing my illness to railroad me.

I am grateful to the many prayers of those who love me and to my husband who continually puts my needs ahead of his own. Because of God's love and the love of the people He has provided, I have the strength and the encouragement I need to use this illness to motivate me in a positive way. This is love in action. I can't do this alone. I've proven it time and time again!! This is how love heals. It is a process, but this is how it heals. This is what I've been talking about, friends!

Blessings to you!

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