People

Does it ever bug you when someone doesn't like you? Oh, it used to really bug me. After all, as far as I knew, I didn't DO anything to that person, so what's not to like, right? Well, I used to spend way too much time stewing over it and it really made me into a person even I didn't like. I was so addicted to their approval that I lost sight of just being myself.

It made me focus on that person who just wouldn't give me a chance. I used to think about what I did or what they thought, or how I'd get even, etc... such destructive thinking. What I discovered was that I just couldn't handle being rejected. Especially for no reason. I mean, who did they think they were anyway? Like I said, it was a vicious and lonely cycle.

I ran into someone at the fair tonight and I know this person does not like me at all. Actually, it wasn't just one person, which I thought was not coincidental at all. God has been dealing with me on some things, and it is a testing time in this area. This person in particular does not like me because of my faith. I won't elaborate, but I know this to be true. She blew past me like a tornado like she always does. It used to bug me, but now I just have to assume the best of her. She may be "jamiblind" and just doesn't see me there. grin, snicker, swat.

God has a way of reminding me of my past behavior and thinking by setting me up to see what I will do or how I will react. He knows I need healing in this area, so he gives me a little pressure now and then. His biggest reminder? I am HIS. He approves of me!! He loves me! He knows my heart when others assume the worst! He will take care of my enemies! He is there even when no one else is! He will not leave me or forsake me. He will never reject me.

The biggest message I got from God on this came when I was thinking (and still kind of am) that a close friend of mine has been shutting me out. I'm trying to think the best, but the evidence is just there. God says to me, "when you stop worrying so much about what she thinks and you spend more time with me, this won't bother you at all." He is right! Sometimes we get so "me" focused that we think it's "all about us". We can miss obvious signs that maybe our close friend is not herself lately and that is why she can't be there for you.

See, this rejection thing is just so against God and His promises. It's not worth it to go through all that pain needlessly. Even if I am the last person on this earth or if everyone becomes "jamiblind", He will be waiting with open arms!

I can't let the acceptance or rejection of people become too important to me again. When I first met Rachel Dyer, one of the things she stressed to me is that people won't always like you. You don't have to do anything to cause it and you can't do anything to fix it. It always perplexed me, but she assured me that it just is what it is and I need to accept that! Good advice! Maybe it's God's way of reminding us that while people are important to us, He is to be first and foremost in our lives. He is a jealous God, as the Word says.

And a note to those who blow past me like a tornado.....I love you!! :)