Momservations

I remember saying to someone years and years ago, before thoughts of being a mom even crossed my mind, "my kid will be the square wearing the hat." It got a lot of laughs back then, and it's funny to me how that has come to pass. No, my kids aren't "square", and they often try to sneak out without hats, but my point was this: I will do what is best for my kids whether it's the popular thing to do or not. Whether they like me afterward or not. I will do what is best. I really don't care what other parents are doing. We do what we feel is best. Not always an easy answer for a pre-adolescent, but I guess if Steve and I lived through it and came out okay, then our kids will too.

I have kept that commitment, and thrown out all other misconceptions about the mother I would someday be. I would hear a mom admonish her child in the store, and I'd think to my ignorant un-mother self, "I would never be that mean to my child." Ha! I'm sure I've said and done worse than that tired, over-worked mom in the store that day! The point here being, you can't really predict what you'll do when you are put in those situations, and you certainly can't predict who you'll be after you become a mom. You will change, and it will be a good thing. Kids have a special way of transforming and transfiguring a perfectly sound minded adult! They turn you to mush and take out your attitude. Again, it's a good change.

Lately, I've noticed that as parents, we're a bit different than some others. Not better, mind you. Just different in the way we think about certain things. Please don't be offended if you fit in one of these categories. I'm simply noticing, not comparing. So, we decided to let Santa bring us a Wii this year. You know, the now-dinosaur video game that almost everyone already has? So what? we didn't have it because we aren't ones to go out and get the "latest and greatest" of anything, and believe it or not, our kids didn't ask for it in the first place. Funny thing about kids. It really doesn't take that much to please them. It's the parents who are more worried about earning their kids' love that causes the problem in the first place. Anyway....

One of the kids came home and said, "you know, everyone else already got a wii last year....some kids even got the i-pod touch....a few kids got their own cell phones...." The tone of this conversation was not meant to imply that she was disappointed in what she got, because she wasn't at all. She was simply noticing these things and thought it was unusual. See, the year that all the kids got the i-pod nano, my kid got the i-pod shuffle (the one below that). The year she gets the nano, they all get the "touch". I guess to a kid, it would seem like she's "behind". Well, that depends on who you're talking to, because I happen to know that not "everyone" was that blessed on Christmas morning. I also wanted to define the word "behind" as it applied to this situation. In our case, "behind" means "on the right track for our family".

I started out by asking if these kids who received cell phones as gifts had gotten jobs over the break. Well, how else are they going to pay for it? Do they pick up their rooms enough to have time to text people? What do they text anyway? Don't they talk enough at school? My kid barely even likes to talk on the phone let alone have her own. My kid has to be reminded to take lip balm out of her pocket every time she brings down her laundry. Can you imagine a cell phone going through the wash? Nope. Not responsible for one. For two, why does an 11 year old need her own phone? It's amazing to me that I lived without a cell phone all through high school, all through college, and much of my married life!! I don't text and I still don't care to. And yet, I survive. Thrive, in fact.

Why would I buy an i-pod touch (pretty costly) for a child, when it has wireless internet capabilities built in? Our values require that our home computer is in a central location with the door left open while on the internet. Giving them free reign with the internet before they are ready spells disaster to me.
While I understand parents who want to give their kids great things, there are greater things to be given. I explained (though I know I didn't need to) that the things Daddy and I want to give them far exceed anything we could buy them. I asked them what they thought those things were.

Here's what the girls decided we gave them: love, attention, fun, and time. Not to mention lots of nice things, whether they're the "in" thing or not. I told them that dad and I could see the "big picture", much like God sees ours. That we wanted kids who weren't "entitled" or spoiled because the world preys on people like that. We wanted them to value things and earn things, and learn responsibility. My dad taught me that value a long time ago, when my mom wanted to get me something really expensive one year. He said simply this: "what are you going to do for an encore?" It sunk in with my mom, and there went my pony. Just kidding, it was probably a Beamer. (still kidding)

I find myself saying those same words. I want our encore to be love, attention, time, and fun. It will always be the "latest and the greatest" in my opinion. Though I can't control my kids internal thinking, I can show them that happiness doesn't come from having things. I know all kids want to be accepted and they want to fit in. I don't object to that in "doable doses", but what will always win out is doing what is best, and loving them through any disappointments.

The square with the hat? Yeah, that came from a customer who commented that if I made my kids wear a hat to school, he'd get teased. I replied, "Maybe so, but he'll be a warm little square wearing a hat." I see myself as a big "square" wearing a hat. I don't do as people expect, I don't always say the "popular" thing. I don't fit in everywhere I go, and I don't care if my clothes and my car don't meet your expectations. However, I can be happy with that, and I can always count on a great encore!

Be blessed!