Longings

Don't ya just love it when someone's all into some book they're reading and they go into these long lectures all about the book and how great it is? Well,if you don't "just love that", then stop reading now. That was your one and only warning today, my friend.

I'm making my way through chapter 3 of my Fresh Brewed Life book that I mentioned the other day. The title of the chapter is "Listen to Your Longings". These aren't your chocolate brownie longings, longings for thinner thighs, or a perfect internet connection. Oops...maybe I was a bit too honest there.

Nicole Johnson, the author, says some pretty important things about those longings we all have. Listen to this:

"God has designed us to want more out of life, and we won't be satisfied until we get it. We cry out to God over this, "how long must I wait, O Lord?" Still, we are left longing. This feels like a no-win situation. Are longings one big cosmic set-up for frustration? Perhaps, if we view them as something to be overcome or eradicated. If we spend more time trying to get them "filled up". But if we lean in close, and put our ears to the chest of our soul and listen to our longings- they can teach us to understand God and ourselves in a way that would not happen if we were to be permitted to have everything we long for. It's true. What we don't have shapes us more than what we do have. We are like Swiss cheese, and those holes are actually supposed to be there. The holes are the things that make us who we are. The holes are the places God has reserved in us for Himself! The longings identify our real hunger. A hunger that drives us to Him to be satisfied. If...big if...we listen."

So what's a longing anyway? The author defines it as an empty place in your life that hasn't been filled. It may be a longing for more enjoyment, more passion, more love, more hope, more rest. What they tell us is that there isn't enough on this earth to fill us up. That's why a vacation only satisfies us for a short time before we're in desperate need for another.

Ignoring those longings can change you in a way that makes you pretty unrecognizable to yourself and others. This was my own observation, based on what the author desribed in the book. Someone who is afraid to follow their longings becomes more of a spectator than a participant in her own life. She may become critical, jealous, envious, fearful, disappointed. The thing about longings is that they don't go away on their own. We have a choice. Deal with them or shove them away. Risk the pain that may come with them or run from it.

It's okay to have longings. It's okay to want more. It's okay to pursue them. It's the way we're made.

(From the author again) "At this point, some people would say, "DIE TO YOURSELF! THAT is the Christian thing to do!!...It's funny that women want to go straight to "die to yourself" without knowing what "self" they are even dying to. Then it isn't a laying down of their lives, but a complete avoidance of pain. God gave us longings to DRAW US TO HIM. He does not intend to cut us off from them." Oh, that passage just sang to me.

When I think of my own list of longings, I realize that achieving just one could bring me closer to the purpose that God has for me. When you look at it this way, pursuing your longings is a direct connection to what God has planned for your life, not just a self-driven goal. Why is it just because you want something, you feel selfish or guilty about it? And why are there people who want to make you feel that way? If God gave us longings, he had a good reason. Maybe instead of pushing what we want away, we should match up what we want with what we know God wants for us. See if they fit. If it doesn't, let it go. If it does, pursue it with passion.

Longings can become a stronghold or a fixation, for sure. They can make us crazy. The author defines them as "inconvenient, uncomfortable, embarrassing at best, uncontrollable, revealing, terrifying, and potentially devastating at worst. They cause us pain and fear. The interrupt our lives with their nagging and persistence and keep us from feeling contented with what we have...but longings are part of being alive. When we try to cut them off, we are trying to keep ourselves safe from life."

I like this author. I like that she's not all buttoned up and polished, carefully choosing her words to please the average Christian. I like that she's brutally honest with the reader, but mostly herself. She reveals how journaling brings out the raw honesty in herself, not that smiling polite Christian we often see at church or in the mirror. When we're honest about who we are, primarily to ourselves, we become clay all over again.

This book opens my eyes better than a strong cup of joe. I hope you'll stick with me on this one!