Son of a Brother

Since my arrival on Facebook, I've been annoyed more. It hasn't been the typical things that annoy people, although I'm making a big assumption that Facebook annoys other people too. And an even bigger assumption that I know what those annoying things are.

Awhile back, my 30-ish year old nephew, who rarely posts anything, decides to post that he's going to unfriend people if they don't stop posting what he called "religious stuff". It was quite rude, arrogant, and quite honestly, I was very disappointed in him. So, being the aunt that I have always been to him, I comment to that: "You can unfriend me. It's okay." Part of me wanted him to know who he was actually talking to. Part of me was feeling defeated that so many of my family members still don't understand what a relationship with God really means. And yet another part of me just wanted to slap the boy up a bit! My comment was to bring awareness to him, not to be rude.

I then get a private message from him that says he has nothing but love and respect for me, and that it wasn't anything I posted that was upsetting him. But at the end, he had to tarnish that by saying "but I have a right to my opinion and I have free speech, and I can say whatever I want." and some other stuff. Yes, you can. But you can also learn manners, young man.

I replied that it wasn't that he offended me personally, it's just that is how I myself deal with posts I don't care for. I will either hide them or I will unfriend them, rather than make a statement that could hurt someone. See, I'm "old school". While I understand freedom of speech and all of that, I still expect manners, respect, courtesy, and integrity when someone is expressing anything. Yes, you have freedom of speech. But in this country we also have a freedom to get informed before we speak, and few care to check facts or research anything before they run off with their mouths. That is what tarnishes our freedoms, in my opinion. It's what makes it hard to be heard, when jaw flappers just flap because they "have a right to do that". We also have a right to remain silent, and sometimes silence is a sign of courage and strength. Doesn't it take a lot more to be quiet when you really want to speak? But you know it's not the right time or you know it's not for you to say? There is a reason why "biting your tongue" hurts.

So back to my nephew. He was not raised knowing the Lord. He didn't go to church, he has an alcoholic father, who basically didn't raise him, but inflicted him greatly. His mother married a Catholic and so he and his sister converted to Catholicism and he went to a parochial school. He was married in a Catholic church as well. All he has ever known about God is that we follow rules and "do" things to "get" to the next "level".  We do this and we do that. And while I won't beat up on any religion, I do have insight on this one, as I was raised Catholic. I do know that a relationship with Christ was never discussed and we were not encouraged to interpret or read Scripture on our own. We were taught that the Pope was the closest thing to God and prayers had to be taken to the "Father" or priest of the church. We weren't to be praying on our own.  We took Communion robotically every Sunday. (I did not. I was never confirmed) Nowhere in my life did I hear anyone tell me that I could have a relationship with Jesus. Until I went to a non-denominational Christian church in my adulthood.  My eyes were opened wide! Then my heart followed.

So while I want to be annoyed with this headstrong nephew of mine, I do know there is a wall between him and God. If he knew he could have a relationship with Christ, maybe he could reconcile the well-understood anger he has toward his dad. Maybe he could understand that he is loved, despite his mistakes. Maybe he could feel a peace in his heart instead of what I can only imagine he feels at times. He does believe in God. He just doesn't know that it has anything personally to do with him. Hence, the wall. For some reason he is extremely intimidated and annoyed by "religious" people. Actually, "religious" people kind of annoy me too....I sort of get what he means.

Again, if you are Catholic, please don't assume I am beating up on your religion. My family has a long history with it, my in-laws (nearly every single one) are Catholic. I have Catholic friends. My family's experience was not a good one. That may not be the case for you. I could say, I have freedom of speech and hide behind that, but I do care if I hurt someone with my words. And yes, everyone in this country is blessed to have freedom of speech and to worship the way we believe.

I love my nephew and so I am praying that his eyes will be opened and his heart will be softened and that God will woo him gently to Himself. That he will become the spiritual leader of his family and a great man of God. That he will know the peace that comes when you understand forgiveness, redemption, pure acceptance, understanding and above all, love.  That he will gain humility, then knowledge, and then wisdom. Here he will find freedom. A different kind of freedom than the one the Constitution offers.

And may the Lord help me to contain my frustration and to be a light for Him instead. Because it's truly not about how I feel. It's about a life changed, and there is nothing more important than that.