Too Rattled to Write

I'm never sure what I'm going to write about until I sit down. I just finished reading the post on a Caring Bridge site I've been following.  It's of a young girl diagnosed with brain cancer, starting at age 6. Her mother is a Christian, torn between the needs of her sick child and the needs of her two healthy ones, plus a husband, and all that comes with a so-called normal life. But it is really so much deeper than that. Her mom, though gripped with uncertainty, leans so completely on God and her faith to get her through. She's not just hurting over her daughter's and her own pain as a mother, but she is feeling the pain of other kids and parents in the oncology waiting rooms. Not only that, but she has started a Christmas collection party in order to provide gifts to sick children. Remember, sickness doesn't care if it's a holiday or not. These kids don't deserve this.

This description she painted today brought me to tears. It made me realize that although my daughter's pain is real and so is mine, I'm not preparing to possibly say goodbye to her. She's not struggling to speak. And while I recently acknowledged that "pain is pain" and everyone's pain is valid, I don't want this mother's pain. It IS worse than mine. Her daughter's future unknown.

So while it IS okay for the painholder to decide which pain is worse, it is NOT for the observer. Observers have no idea how people are feeling inside, and should only be compassionate. Like the mother in the waiting room with the obviously sick son, whose birthday was that day. He was so ill he could barely hold up his head. She could have looked away, but instead wished him a happy birthday. His mother was so obviously grateful. Not only did she thank this mom for wishing him a happy birthday, she thanked her for acknowledging her son. Just letting someone know you notice, you see their pain, you care because you are a human, can go so far in a person's life.

People tell me I will have no questions when I get to heaven because I will just be so overjoyed to meet Jesus. But on this earth, I have so many.

Please pray for Kate, her mom Holly, Dad Aaron, and siblings Will and Olivia.