It's A Party or World War 3

Thanksgiving is upon us, and where are your thoughts? Food? Family? Football? Antacids? Well, mine are all over the place! I have an extremely full month ahead of me, beginning with Thanksgiving. Steve's birthday is a few days after, then I will be planning a very large party for Serena. It wasn't my idea at all. It wasn't even Serena's idea! Let me begin at the beginning...

Serena was born 2 days after Christmas. While we've never forgotten her birthday, we can't always have a "friend" party because of the holiday. We not only can't find the time to do it, but we don't like asking friends to bring gifts when they should be saving money for their Christmas giving. We tried "gift-free" parties in January, and even had a swim party once. However, we now play basketball every Saturday in winter, so the non-birthday parties continue once again.

There have been a lot of social issues in Serena's class this year. The girls just don't seem to all get along, and it's silly really, because individually, the girls are nice to be around for the most part. Hello, they're 11 and 12. What do you expect, right? Well, Serena has always been a peacemaker. From the time the child could talk, she was always trying to smooth over problems for others, helping other kids to share, and trying to include other kids. Sometimes her efforts to be a peacemaker are not only unnoticed, but they are unwanted by those who would rather be unkind! Welcome to the real world, dear one. Anyway, we found a solution, we hope.

I had really been praying about this situation at school, since even some parents were getting overly involved and actually causing more problems with the girls! The situation was getting out of hand, and Serena was really feeling pressured and didn't want to go to school. In fact, we had some serious talks about finding a new avenue for her education. So, something had to be done, and I was talking to God about it daily. One day, I believe He gave me a challenge. "Why not invite ALL of those girls to a party?" What? Are you kidding me? World War 3 at my house? My basement is not set up for parties anymore! What about all the fighting parents, let alone the girls? Will there be mayhem? I have too much going on and what about cost? Are you sure this is a good idea? That was my response, and I'm sure you moms can relate!

I'm sure now that God is behind this party. When I mentioned the idea to Serena, she said, "I think it's a good idea, mom. Maybe it will show them that we can be a team and not be so divided. No one will be left out, for once!" Well, except for all the boys. Forget that!! So with my daughter's blessing, we set to planning a non-birthday party. Not only did we not want people bringing gifts, but a classmate's religion prohibits it, so she even gave up the birthday idea so she could come. Wow, is all I could say to that. Good girl.

Serena handed out her invitations at school and had mixed reactions. She was very hurt and disappointed when 2 of her friends suggested she not give out certain invitations and not to tell her mom and no one would ever know. Really? And these are your friends?? Grr..Serena stood firm and said, "everyone is invited. Everyone. and how do you think those girls would feel?" She later told me, "I should have asked for their invitations back just to show them how really mean that was." So, the girls replied, 'well, i just might not be able to come." the other one said, "i will hide in your room the whole time'. Serena just said, "If you don't want to come, don't come", as her heart cracked just a little bit more.

It makes me more than angry what has been going on, and yet all I can do is just continue to help Serena be who she is no matter what. She told me she may lose a couple friends over this party, and we both agreed that real friends will let you be yourself, and maybe it's not such a big loss if that were to happen. I know how much it hurts her, and that's the part with which I struggle.

So, a party. Lots of cheet-os, punch, and noise. Lots of girls. Some oil. Some water. Some fire. Sounds like fun, right?? This whole month has been a wild ride and we're just getting started. I can't wait to see where we're going next!!