The World of Worry

I don't think I worried about much at all before I became a parent. I was happy to be married and living with my beloved. I was carefree, going to work and coming home each day, worrying only about hitting a deer on the way home. Together we didn't worry too much about our bills, in fact, we didn't even have a credit card for the first few years of our marriage! Unheard of now, I would guess. We had a nice home with plans to fill it with children, plenty of time to do whatever we wanted to do, and a healthy family around us. Our biggest "worry" was what we were going to do that weekend!

How things would change over just a few years! When we decided to plan our family, the worries started. We couldn't conceive for a long time. We decided to do all kinds of rebellious things, like get a dog, get braces for me, and maybe get a jeep and have fun with that. We even toyed with the idea of white carpeting! No kids, no mess. OOps....forgot about that dog we got..

So with our wait for children, we worried. Then she blessed us, and we worried. She arrived. We worried. And worried. And worried. Every fever, every rash, every cry, every everything. Worry worry worry. And it wasn't much fun at all! The worrying, I mean, of course.

Child number two came and brought us new worries. Would we be good parents to two now? Could we give them enough? And on and on the worries came. If only I knew then what I know now....can't we all say that?

My worries are so much more based in reality now. Our parents are getting older, our dog has passed. Our kids are growing up. Can we do this? Are we messing it all up? Will we look back at these days and tell our young selves we were being silly just like before?

I have many well-meaning and wise friends tell me not to worry about anything but to pray about everything. Philippians 4:6,7, I believe, said it first. As I get older, and life gets harder, it is harder to worry. Yes, I just said that! I'm not saying I don't worry. I'm saying I know better now. I do better now. Worrying says I have little trust in the God who is taking care of it all. If I look back at the past, worrying didn't serve me or anyone else well. If I use what I know, then I should know not to worry. Right?

As with anything, it's easier said than done. It's not so much that I worry about what God is doing. It's more that I worry that I won't accept it as quickly as I should. I guess that's a normal human response. I sometimes equate a no worry attitude with a lack of concern. I suppose it takes a delicate balance, and I trust God is going to help me through that. After all, if I trust Him, then what do I have to worry about?