My Seasons

As the last of the fall leaves blow into the woods, the preparation for winter snow begins. And as nature makes its way into a sleepy state, I have to wake up. I've been asleep too long.

Nature doesn't fight its way between seasons. It transitions gracefully. One day you see a red or orange leaf, and then before you know it, the trees are aflame, somehow mysteriously transformed while we weren't looking. It doesn't mourn the loss of its leaves and the green of the grass, yet it readies itself for the challenges to come. Snow...frost...wind, ice.  Only nature knows no limitations. Nature is God at His best. It is proof of His existence and evidence that He loves us. It can endure everything. It is powerful even in it's weakest states.

This morning the sky was a beautiful purpley pinkish color, as it sometimes is on the way to school. I've said it many times before to the girls, "look at God's sky this morning. It's a God color!" I can't even name it! It's kind of orchid, kind of pink, kind of orange. But not describable. It's a God color. And it touches me. God loves me through nature.

So if God designed nature with so much love and such detail, why do I forget that I was designed this way as well? I read it in the Bible..."I am God's workmanship", Psalm 139:15 tells it all. Why do I forget, when nature screams it every day?

I need to wake up. I need to know that God painted me with His special colors too. God designed me to make someone happy. God designed me for a purpose for this great plan of His. I'm not here to be upset, angry, anxious, sad, resentful, lost, empty. I am here to be full of love, giving love, receiving love, and being a light for Christ. Why do I forget that so often?  Why do I let negative thoughts destroy what I know to be true? Why do I let insensitive people decide how I'm going to feel that day? Why do I lose hope when I clearly know better?

That miracle tree out in front of our house tells me to hope. Its trunk is rotted out. It's barely hanging on, yet this year, it produced fruit. Not just one apple, but many! And that seemingly weak tree is holding on to those apples with strength it doesn't appear to have. That tree, which must be a hundred years old, doesn't know it has limitations. It just knows, "i am a tree. my purpose is to make apples."

I am a person. Designed by God. Given a purpose. To love and to be loved. And though I feel weak, I can be strong because the One who designed me sustains me when it looks like I can't sustain myself. To use my weakness to show others what can be done with God. Just like my miracle tree, which doesn't let weakness slow down its purpose.

What is my ultimate purpose? I've read books about finding your purpose, but it's not in those books. My purpose is somewhere in me, waiting to be found. Bits and pieces are revealed to me at times when I least expect it. It doesn't come on a billboard. Wouldn't that be easy? But finding what God wants for me is not something to be hurried through or frustrated about. It's like nature, it's a transitional thing. He will give me the pieces I can handle and recognize. Then he'll give me a bit more. I'm the one who slows this down. Not God.

And so I need to wake up and open myself up to new possibilities and challenges, so that I can be the effective servant God needs me to be. I need to shake off anything that slows me down and keep my focus on staying positive. It will be like nature going from spring to summer to fall and then to winter.....and then back again and again.