The Truth Helps

Whether we want to admit it or not, we need someone in our lives who tells us the truth. I've told this story here before, but I was once asked by someone in essence to "point out where she'd offended or gone wrong in a certain situation". But boy, when I did and I did in the way that I thought was gentle, it was taken so terribly wrong! Everything I said I thought I had said out of a desire to love, help, and lift her up. But how it was taken and perceived was so distorted and confused that I couldn't even explain myself. I couldn't explain it because none of what she accused me of was anything anyone would have ever accused me of. The only word going through my mind at the time was false persecution! It destroyed our friendship because she never would listen or attempt to understand my intention and in fact told me I was not her friend and so I had no business telling her anything! So.....lesson learned. Sometimes when people ask you, "point out where I'm offending or going wrong", sometimes means this: "tell me I'm not offending or going wrong so I can go on thinking I'm right".

Well, I don't always like humbling myself to hear the truth about me either, but guess what? I need it. However, I don't solicit it from people I don't truly respect or admire, either in knowledge, wisdom, or in friendship or love. If she really didn't respect my opinion, she shouldn't have asked that very important question that I took very seriously and prayed about before I answered. It remains one of my "oh well" situations. It has been forgiven and moved on, of course. It has gone into the "lesson learned" box. I learned to not try to fix other people and let God deal with them instead and to not think I actually have any ability to give anyone any advice at all!

So what is your reaction when someone puts the truth in front of you? The truth about you? When I received a comment from Sir Norm that referred to checking out his blog post entitled "The Past has Passed", oh, I knew why....I do. I dwell on the past. Someone smarter than me is catching on! :) I know this is my stumbling block. Always has been. I have a hard time with letting go of the past, regrets, disappointments, what ifs, should haves, could haves, would haves, can'ts, if onlys, etc..." I've been this way for as long as I can remember, way back as a little girl. I don't know why. I suppose if I did I wouldn't be sitting here writing this post! I've prayed about this so many times. I've been aware that it is holding me back. I've been conscious of the fact that it makes me subject to a lot of sadness and attack that I put on myself. Forget Satan. If I stopped to think about anything I'm angry about or anyone I have issues with, they're all in the "yesterday" category. I'm mad about yesterday. I need to let it all go. The people I keep in my life now are not causing issues and the friends around me are here for me. Why I continue to be angry about yesterday is a waste of energy! Oh, and I'm not just mad at what they said and did. I am more mad about every little thing I did wrong too! I apparently don't forgive myself for anything. I've heard myself say it enough times to others, "God forgave you. You need to forgive yourself. He doesn't keep track of your wrongs and neither should you." Why is it I can't get it myself? The slate is clean.....but I keep mucking it up.

When you hear the truth about yourself, you will know it. You might not like how it was delivered or who said it or when it was said. But know that if someone speaks truth to you or leads you to it, they care about you. God gave us Truth in His Word. What better gift could we have received? Is it hard to swallow sometimes? Absolutely! But we can overcome the things that we stumble over if we just trust that God will walk it with us because He wants the best for us. Just like a friend. Just like a fellow Christian. Like anyone who delivers truth. It is to build. Not to destroy. I've always felt destroyed by the truth because I have needed to feel cared for and understood first before someone lowered the boom on me. I needed the guarantee that they weren't just trying to "take me down". It was a trust issue. With God, He will bring the truth through people He appoints. Like Sir Norm, whose truth came to me like a balm.

I no longer feel that need to be understood first. I have sat in Bible study classes where the truth has come to me fiercely and it's the way I needed to hear it. It can't always be soft! It's going to come the way it needs to be heard, and we just need to be ready and humbled always to receive it. I'm ready to hear it and I'm ready to find ways to make the changes I need to make to cut these unhealthy "roots" of my past (Sir Norm) that are holding me back.

Blessings!