Wandering Wannabe

Steve coyly said to me late last night, "hey, a headhunter offered up a job position to me last night...." I love these openings, even though he just recently moved into a newly appointed position and is planning to stay.  "Ooh, what is it??" Always my reply, much to the girls dismay, who were sitting within feet of us, watching TV last night.  He smiled, told me where, to which I said, "It's lovely there this time of year!" He laughed. "No, it isn't!" I feigned disappointment and said, "It most certainly could be!"

I still have my Grandpa Orvis's sense of wanderlust. Although I love where we live, I have had the sense that I belong here as much as a polar bear. In other words, I am a fish out of water in my own hometown. I don't have a sense of belonging in the very community in which I grew up, lived in, and came back to raise my own children within. We lived within the town for 10 years before we built our house out here in the country and since then,  I don't feel connected there anymore. It's a quaint, safe, cute little town with good memories and it's a nice place to raise kids. I actually feel guilty for not feeling the "love" for it like I did before. But somehow, I have a sense that somewhere "out there" my new town and my friends are looking for me! Somewhere out there is my favorite coffee shop, my favorite book store, my favorite bench at the beach, our Friday night date spot, and a church!

Yes, I just thought of that too.....you just pictured a Hallmark movie scene, didn't you? It's true. I'm pretty tired of the humdrum around here. I'm pretty disappointed in some things and some people, it's true. It's funny that I even chose to blog about this particular subject. I nearly stopped myself, and then I thought, why? Why not be honest? Why write something and then delete it as if no one ever feels this way? Is everyone just content and happy ALL the time? My Grandpa moved 9 times! Bless his soul, he wanted to experience life in different spots. I'm not sure it had anything to do with happiness. He died at the young age of 42 (I'm 44), so I'm glad my patient grandma endured all the moves for the sake of his curiosity and need to see the world around him.

 Sometimes we succumb to the temptation of  thinking "I'll be happy when _______" That is a guarantee for a disappointed life!  Mainly because when the blanks get filled, you add another blank and on and on the blank-filling goes until you're a sad mess! The truth is, I wouldn't be any happier if we moved to Houston or to Switzerland or to any other place. At least not for very long, because the same things that bother me here would eventually bother me there. Oh, I'd have a few new friends, new scenery, new things to do, and that would satisfy me for awhile, but pretty soon life would settle in like normal and I'd find something new to complain about. The point is, learning to be content right where I am, without moving, without anything changing, without blanks being filled. That is the key to being happy. Living in the present, not living in the "I'll be happy when-- mode will guarantee to keep my mind from wandering into fantasy land or "Hallmark movie" land, where all things are perfect all the time. Life is never a Hallmark movie. That's for Sundays and jammies.

I still dream of moving. I really do! I don't mean to sound like a negative nelly, but we won't be missed! Truly, since we stopped being part of preschool, me being a room mom for years at school, teachers at church, community volunteer work, people truly do treat you as if you fell off the face of the earth! It's true. And of course Steve and I are just so "quiet and reserved" (gotta love that every time we hear it). Actually we are just self-contained raging maniacs! Just kidding. :) So we aren't exactly Mr. and Mrs. Life of the Party, you know, bringing the juice boxes and all. ok, I'll stop....

So, it makes it much easier to imagine moving from the area in a couple years when the girls are finished with school. We hope to sell this place, buy lakefront and lure our beautiful daughters and their future families home with promises of beach weekends and home cooked meals and lots of happy holidays. Sounds like a pretty good Hallmark movie to me? Grandpa would be proud.