Taking My Doc Visit to Heart

We headed back to Ann Arbor today to see my neurologist at the U of M Hospital. 

The last time I saw him was in January, and I had just had some troubling seizure symptoms reappear, was dealing with some anxiety (typical of my diagnosis), and still reeling from the loss of my brother and was dealing with depression as well. 

Today I walked in his office a new woman. Anxiety free, I was finally able to ask him the questions I had once feared asking- "can I watch fireworks? Will flashing lights bring on seizures? What if I see strobe lights at concerts?" Among other questions. Have I mentioned that this doctor has been a godsend? He told me to "stay out of clubs" (I laughed-what are "clubs"- I live in a rural area!) because strobe lights aren't good for anyone! Haha...and yes, I can enjoy fireworks, but because of the nature of my seizures and the connection to my migraine issue, lights are not always my friend. But most of all, he said in his kind, matter-of-fact way, "live your life. Don't try to control this. Enjoy yourself." He's a really cool guy. Totally what I need. 

I am also 48 pounds lighter, among feeling lighter from my burdens as well. 

I have been active in my garden, riding my bike, working out, getting strong, and fighting my demons one at a time. 

And all along, I am giving credit also to the loss of my dear brother, who left me way too soon. He was vibrant, fun-loving, energetic, and loving life. That is what I need to be, and to do that, I need to be as healthy as I can be. I'm not sure what caused him to leave us, but I will take care of myself in his honor, and that is what has been driving me since the Christmas I spent with his wife and kids last year. 

Something changed in me when he passed. One day I will be able to put words to it. Right now, I am putting action into it and getting myself in the best shape I can be for as long as I am allowed to be here on earth.