Well, I did it! I managed to last 17 (today is day 18) days on the 17 day diet! It was NOT easy at all at first! I still wouldn't call it "easy" by any stretch, but then again, any diet isn't easy!
I had a few goals in mind when starting this latest diet of mine. One, of course, to lose weight. We are getting a pool and I want to be able to wear a swimsuit. We also have a wedding in July and I'd like to wear my dress without the Spanx! So, I had 2 motivating factors, but also realized they were short term motivators. In the past, I have dieted toward my goal, then fell off the wagon once the event was over. Big mistake.
Secondly, I have some health issues that seem to improve when I lose weight and eat healthy. Carrying even 20 extra pounds is hard on your joints, especially if you have arthritis or any other "itis", like I do. I also have a little heart "thing" that makes it harder for me to breathe comfortably at times. Because of the lack of oxygen, I can get more migraines, lose sleep, become fatigued, and get pretty grouchy. So, there are my long term motivators, and while it would make perfect sense to stay on the course, I do forget these things when temptation takes over.
Let's not overlook the third reason I wanted to lose weight. I'm nearing those menopausal years I hear so much about, and all I hear is one day you wake up and you have no waist. You gain weight and get crabby. You sweat constantly, and on and on. Really? Do I want to do that while being overweight too? I know me. I would be a basket case. Coping skills go out the window sometimes!
Are those good enough reasons to lose weight? I believe so. And while the reasons are valid, I know the risk of going back to my old habits and giving up altogether. Why do I do that anyway? Why do any of us do that?
One good example is my recent trip to the mailbox, where I opened yet another (3rd one in 5 years) jury duty questionnaire. I flipped. I haven't even filled it out and already I'm having a panic attack in the driveway. I almost cried. It's silly to you, but the various ramifications of serving would make my life extremely difficult. I have no one to take care of my dog. No one. I still struggle with frequent migraines. I've said it before, but I have very little personal freedom right now. It is what it is and that's fine until these things happen. So, my point was that my first reaction upon seeing that familiar "randomly chosen" piece of mail was "what can I eat to make me feel better about this?"
So if I'm stuffing my emotions with food, aren't I like any addict, trying to recover on their own? Isn't food just like the cigarette, the drug, the drink? Doesn't it take the place of the emotion we're supposed to be feeling naturally? And mostly, doesn't it numb the pain so we don't have to face it? In my case, I find that to be true. My former "3 cupcake a day" habit may seem piddly to some people, but for me, that's a lot of cake! And it gives me a headache to eat all that sugar too!
Are you now wondering just how much one loses in 17 days on this diet? Well, I lost approximately a half pound a day, making my grand total 8 pounds. That's not too bad, and I'm not starving. I'm craving junk food still, but trying to replace that habit with new ones, like fruit for one.
Today is the beginning of Cycle 2, which is another 17 days, adding in some carbs and whole grains. I will alternate Cycle one with cycle two, tricking my metabolism to burn, baby, burn. If I hit a plateau, I will return to Cycle one for another 17 days. When I get to my goal, I go directly to Cycle 4, which helps me to maintain. The bottom line of this and any diet is simple. If you are overweight, you will always be on a diet. You can call it whatever you want, but you will never return to the old habits and get away with it! Reality check, right??
And it seems with my lack of food medication, I have had to deal with some open face issues a little more painfully. Well, that's how we grow on the inside without growing on the outside, at least that's the way I look at it.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Imperfect Life, Perfect Timing
Aren't you glad that the world didn't "end" on Saturday? I am, because for one thing, we don't know when that's going to happen! We just have to be ready, right? So, don't worry about how clean your house is or whether you've made cupcakes for Jesus' arrival, just get your heart online with Him and you'll be like the cute drum-banging bunny...Everready!! Two r's or one, I don't know. Oh well.
I'm also glad we lived through Saturday, because we didn't have to miss our Loon's game on Sunday. Now, I sat through this one in style, my friends! Steve's work was gracious enough to invite spouses and kids into the company suite, complete with food and goodies! We even won one of the drawings for our favorite ice cream place! It was a very good thing we were in a suite, because 4 innings into the game, a major rain and hailstorm hit, forcing a rain delay! We ended up going home, but it was such a fun day.
I wish I could say it was a great family time, but as the girls have grown up, they are less and less gung-ho about things that used to excite them. It is so disappointing for us as parents, to have planned such a fun day and have their noses stuck in their i-pods the whole time, looking up only when I poked them to see if they were still alive. They asked if we were going straight home, and of course, we said, "no, we're going to hit Meijer first". Groans ensued, and the familiar, "oh, yay" comments started. I had had enough, so I said, "ya know, first of all, I've heard enough groaning out of you girls. All you cared about was your i-pod the whole time! We were doing something fun as a family and you didn't care at all!" Then I went into my speech about how if they don't appreciate these special things they are given, that we are going to take someone else's kids next time! And on that day, my girls will go work on a farm!
Steve and I could have been raised in the same family, for all the similarities we have in our upbringing. We both came from hardworking parents, who did what they could to make outings special without a lot of money. We all used to pile in the station wagon to go for country drives. The first one to spot a deer would get a quarter. For fun, my dad would stop the car and say, "whoever wants to get out and run, go ahead." Oh, man, we'd all pile out and run as fast as we could alongside the car while dad drove and mom probably laughed her butt off! Dad would treat us with something we didn't get very often....an orange crush! If mom saw a rock she liked, my brothers would get out and drag it into the back of the station wagon, where I rode with my feet out the back window! Simple family fun. I didn't know we didn't have much. You don't miss what you don't have.
Ironic that we would want so much for our kids because we didn't have it, and they don't seem to require it anyway. Hmmm....whose the one in the dark. Us or the kids? Clearly it is us.
And so we learned our lesson, and though we have been blessed with far more than we were raised with, we both treasure what we got from our childhoods. For me, it was the years of camping, drives, and strange things like corn picking and canning. Sure, we didn't have a lot of distractions and activities (couldn't afford them anyway), so maybe it was easier to be a kid back then.
Sometimes we fail to realize that our kids would often rather stay home and have a campfire than sit in a special suite at the ball field. They'd rather make shakes at home than go out for ice cream. Sometimes in our zeal to make "the perfect childhood", we forget the definition of perfect altogether.
And what is perfect is our family movie night...feet tangled up on the couch, Sophie sniffing around for loose popcorn, laughter, cuddling, and the constant offers of "can I get you something while I'm up?" It's watching a movie we've seen 29 times and laughing in the same spots. It's a whole bunch of little things we can never take for granted.
That's pretty close to perfect for me. And by the way, I did settle down and explain myself a bit better for the kids to understand my feelings. They also need to learn to be more appreciative and not take things for granted.
As we grow as a family, things have changed, and each change has been hard to accept for all of us. Growth hurts sometimes, and knowing our kids are preparing for a lot bigger world makes us want to freeze in our tracks and hug them forever. It's that kind of thinking that sometimes gets us off track, wanting to do too much for them. Wanting to hold on too tightly, give them too much. Hang on for dear life. It's why I need them to click into "happy mode" when we're out doing fun things. It's so I can look back and say, "wasn't that Loons game a blast?" I have to learn that all of our memories combined together are a blast, and honestly, some events will be a flop! I remember being a grouch the first day of one of our most favorite vacations of all time!
I guess there's still hope after all.
I'm also glad we lived through Saturday, because we didn't have to miss our Loon's game on Sunday. Now, I sat through this one in style, my friends! Steve's work was gracious enough to invite spouses and kids into the company suite, complete with food and goodies! We even won one of the drawings for our favorite ice cream place! It was a very good thing we were in a suite, because 4 innings into the game, a major rain and hailstorm hit, forcing a rain delay! We ended up going home, but it was such a fun day.
I wish I could say it was a great family time, but as the girls have grown up, they are less and less gung-ho about things that used to excite them. It is so disappointing for us as parents, to have planned such a fun day and have their noses stuck in their i-pods the whole time, looking up only when I poked them to see if they were still alive. They asked if we were going straight home, and of course, we said, "no, we're going to hit Meijer first". Groans ensued, and the familiar, "oh, yay" comments started. I had had enough, so I said, "ya know, first of all, I've heard enough groaning out of you girls. All you cared about was your i-pod the whole time! We were doing something fun as a family and you didn't care at all!" Then I went into my speech about how if they don't appreciate these special things they are given, that we are going to take someone else's kids next time! And on that day, my girls will go work on a farm!
Steve and I could have been raised in the same family, for all the similarities we have in our upbringing. We both came from hardworking parents, who did what they could to make outings special without a lot of money. We all used to pile in the station wagon to go for country drives. The first one to spot a deer would get a quarter. For fun, my dad would stop the car and say, "whoever wants to get out and run, go ahead." Oh, man, we'd all pile out and run as fast as we could alongside the car while dad drove and mom probably laughed her butt off! Dad would treat us with something we didn't get very often....an orange crush! If mom saw a rock she liked, my brothers would get out and drag it into the back of the station wagon, where I rode with my feet out the back window! Simple family fun. I didn't know we didn't have much. You don't miss what you don't have.
Ironic that we would want so much for our kids because we didn't have it, and they don't seem to require it anyway. Hmmm....whose the one in the dark. Us or the kids? Clearly it is us.
And so we learned our lesson, and though we have been blessed with far more than we were raised with, we both treasure what we got from our childhoods. For me, it was the years of camping, drives, and strange things like corn picking and canning. Sure, we didn't have a lot of distractions and activities (couldn't afford them anyway), so maybe it was easier to be a kid back then.
Sometimes we fail to realize that our kids would often rather stay home and have a campfire than sit in a special suite at the ball field. They'd rather make shakes at home than go out for ice cream. Sometimes in our zeal to make "the perfect childhood", we forget the definition of perfect altogether.
And what is perfect is our family movie night...feet tangled up on the couch, Sophie sniffing around for loose popcorn, laughter, cuddling, and the constant offers of "can I get you something while I'm up?" It's watching a movie we've seen 29 times and laughing in the same spots. It's a whole bunch of little things we can never take for granted.
That's pretty close to perfect for me. And by the way, I did settle down and explain myself a bit better for the kids to understand my feelings. They also need to learn to be more appreciative and not take things for granted.
As we grow as a family, things have changed, and each change has been hard to accept for all of us. Growth hurts sometimes, and knowing our kids are preparing for a lot bigger world makes us want to freeze in our tracks and hug them forever. It's that kind of thinking that sometimes gets us off track, wanting to do too much for them. Wanting to hold on too tightly, give them too much. Hang on for dear life. It's why I need them to click into "happy mode" when we're out doing fun things. It's so I can look back and say, "wasn't that Loons game a blast?" I have to learn that all of our memories combined together are a blast, and honestly, some events will be a flop! I remember being a grouch the first day of one of our most favorite vacations of all time!
I guess there's still hope after all.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Out of the Mouths of All
"Wow, you have small feet for such a tall person...", "You're my last call..do you want to go to a movie tonight?", "Oh, hi! I forgot you were coming!, "well, yeah, but you don't work","what did you do to your hair?"
Those are just a few strange things people have said to me in the past and even recently! You are usually so dumbfounded that you can't be offended, or so embarrassed for them that you don't say a word!
Don't even think I've taken myself out of this foot-in-mouth situation. I am guilty of plenty of tongue slips! I was about 16, and a girl in our school was pregnant. She had left the school,and I happened to run into her at a football game. I stupidly asked her when the baby was due. Then she pulled out pictures of the baby! I am glad I got that one over with while I was too young to know better!
A friend of mine had recently colored her hair a flaming shade of red at the same time she got a sunburn in a tanning bed. It was such a shocking change that when I saw her, I blurted out, "What happened to you??" She didn't let it go, either. She was the one who later asked me, "What did you do to your hair?" Touche`partner!
I've also been famous for the "mistaken identity" problem. I have walked up to a woman and said, "Hi Beth!" and it wasn't Beth! I also offended a woman who came to my garage sale when I asked her if she knew my older brothers and sister. Of course she didn't, she was a few years younger than ME!! That was clearly based on my poor ability to identify people. I thought she was someone else! Oops again.
I've learned plenty from those episodes. In fact,just today a woman smiled and said hello to me at the eye doctor's office. She looked a little familiar, but no way was I going to step in it again! I simply gave her a warm smile and hello and went on my way, all the while thinking, "do I know her??" I got a few miles down the road and said, "Hey, I think I knew her from school!" Oh, there I go again....
Those are just a few strange things people have said to me in the past and even recently! You are usually so dumbfounded that you can't be offended, or so embarrassed for them that you don't say a word!
Don't even think I've taken myself out of this foot-in-mouth situation. I am guilty of plenty of tongue slips! I was about 16, and a girl in our school was pregnant. She had left the school,and I happened to run into her at a football game. I stupidly asked her when the baby was due. Then she pulled out pictures of the baby! I am glad I got that one over with while I was too young to know better!
A friend of mine had recently colored her hair a flaming shade of red at the same time she got a sunburn in a tanning bed. It was such a shocking change that when I saw her, I blurted out, "What happened to you??" She didn't let it go, either. She was the one who later asked me, "What did you do to your hair?" Touche`partner!
I've also been famous for the "mistaken identity" problem. I have walked up to a woman and said, "Hi Beth!" and it wasn't Beth! I also offended a woman who came to my garage sale when I asked her if she knew my older brothers and sister. Of course she didn't, she was a few years younger than ME!! That was clearly based on my poor ability to identify people. I thought she was someone else! Oops again.
I've learned plenty from those episodes. In fact,just today a woman smiled and said hello to me at the eye doctor's office. She looked a little familiar, but no way was I going to step in it again! I simply gave her a warm smile and hello and went on my way, all the while thinking, "do I know her??" I got a few miles down the road and said, "Hey, I think I knew her from school!" Oh, there I go again....
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
There is Power in Forgiveness
In my journey toward learning to accept myself, I have done a lot of reading. I know what some of you will say...."start with the Bible"--and I agree with you. I've been relearning what the Bible says about how much I matter to God and all that comes with it. Someone may even say to me, "you don't know who you are in Christ if you don't accept yourself," and I suppose you're right about that. Some Christians mean well, but they sometimes spew out Scripture instead of giving out a hug! It's okay to be in crisis sometimes and have to be reminded of who you are in Christ. Maybe it's one of those times for me, and I would expect my Christian bros and sisters would understand, as I would for them. No judging. Just loving!!
So, in my reading, I came across a really helpful chapter in one of my books. In "The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution", by Dr. Phil, he talks about "Healing Feelings", and it's not just where weight loss is concerned. I found it interesting that he would talk about the power of forgiveness and how it can unleash you from "emotional prison". Here's just an exerpt:
"...without forgiveness, you are destined to lug around your emotional burdens, and suffer emotional and physical consequences as a result. You may believe right now that you are justified to hate, or harbor rage, against someone who has hurt you deeply enough to create these emotions. You may believe that they deserve it and should be made to suffer by your hatred of them. But to carry these beliefs is to pay an unbelievably high price, because those feelings can become so pervasive as to contaminate every element of your current life. When Leonardo da Vinci was working on his masterpiece, The Last Supper, be became angry with a certain man. As his temper flared, he spewed out bitter words to the poor man. Afterwards, da Vinci returned to his painting and tried to work on the face of Jesus, but was so consumed by his anger that he could not compose himself for the meticulous work that was required. Finally he laid aside his painting tools, sought out the man, and asked for forgiveness. The man accepted his apology and da Vinci was able to finish painting the face of Jesus."
He goes on to make this statement that reached out and grabbed me:
" Everything they have done to you, they have already done to themselves. If you allow people who have wronged you to keep you imprisoned, then they win. Don't worry about when or how they will "get theirs". Their judgment will not come from you, but ultimately from God, who settles all accounts."
"Everything they have done to you, they have already done to themselves". Just that sentence made me feel compassion for those who have wronged me. They're already broken! They need God too! They need a break too! In some cases, those who wrong you are misunderstood. You're the one expecting something they have little or no capacity to give. We have the choice to let something go, and not make a big deal out of every mistake someone makes toward us! Yes, that's in the Bible too!
I can tell you through reading the Bible and this chapter, I found out who it is I need to forgive. I found out who hurts me the most. I learned who is keeping me in an emotional prison, and perhaps it's the hardest person to forgive.
That person is me. And even as I admit it, there is part of me that wants to highlight and delete that whole sentence! But I will not, because it's true. It makes me say to myself, "who do you think you are that God forgives you, but you don't? Are you more powerful than God?" Oh, no, not at all, that's why it's a bit intimidating to admit in the first place.
I know Biblically and in my head that I am forgiven by God, but there is a broken part of me, blocking my ability to take that knowledge and truly "get it". There is a part of me that won't give me the breaks that I am willing to give others. Only years of therapy would probably explain why!
I can't be the only one who struggles with this concept of forgiving herself, and I know that it is just a matter of time before I do "get it". So many great Christians have told me that everything happens in God's time, and sometimes He just wants us to hold on a little longer before the healing is complete. Trust. Have faith. Hold on. Easy Peasy!! Hmmm...not so much. But I'm a work in progress, as all of us are.
Power in forgiveness? Yes. And power from God to truly accomplish true forgiveness. For others, and in some cases, ourselves.
So, in my reading, I came across a really helpful chapter in one of my books. In "The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution", by Dr. Phil, he talks about "Healing Feelings", and it's not just where weight loss is concerned. I found it interesting that he would talk about the power of forgiveness and how it can unleash you from "emotional prison". Here's just an exerpt:
"...without forgiveness, you are destined to lug around your emotional burdens, and suffer emotional and physical consequences as a result. You may believe right now that you are justified to hate, or harbor rage, against someone who has hurt you deeply enough to create these emotions. You may believe that they deserve it and should be made to suffer by your hatred of them. But to carry these beliefs is to pay an unbelievably high price, because those feelings can become so pervasive as to contaminate every element of your current life. When Leonardo da Vinci was working on his masterpiece, The Last Supper, be became angry with a certain man. As his temper flared, he spewed out bitter words to the poor man. Afterwards, da Vinci returned to his painting and tried to work on the face of Jesus, but was so consumed by his anger that he could not compose himself for the meticulous work that was required. Finally he laid aside his painting tools, sought out the man, and asked for forgiveness. The man accepted his apology and da Vinci was able to finish painting the face of Jesus."
He goes on to make this statement that reached out and grabbed me:
" Everything they have done to you, they have already done to themselves. If you allow people who have wronged you to keep you imprisoned, then they win. Don't worry about when or how they will "get theirs". Their judgment will not come from you, but ultimately from God, who settles all accounts."
"Everything they have done to you, they have already done to themselves". Just that sentence made me feel compassion for those who have wronged me. They're already broken! They need God too! They need a break too! In some cases, those who wrong you are misunderstood. You're the one expecting something they have little or no capacity to give. We have the choice to let something go, and not make a big deal out of every mistake someone makes toward us! Yes, that's in the Bible too!
I can tell you through reading the Bible and this chapter, I found out who it is I need to forgive. I found out who hurts me the most. I learned who is keeping me in an emotional prison, and perhaps it's the hardest person to forgive.
That person is me. And even as I admit it, there is part of me that wants to highlight and delete that whole sentence! But I will not, because it's true. It makes me say to myself, "who do you think you are that God forgives you, but you don't? Are you more powerful than God?" Oh, no, not at all, that's why it's a bit intimidating to admit in the first place.
I know Biblically and in my head that I am forgiven by God, but there is a broken part of me, blocking my ability to take that knowledge and truly "get it". There is a part of me that won't give me the breaks that I am willing to give others. Only years of therapy would probably explain why!
I can't be the only one who struggles with this concept of forgiving herself, and I know that it is just a matter of time before I do "get it". So many great Christians have told me that everything happens in God's time, and sometimes He just wants us to hold on a little longer before the healing is complete. Trust. Have faith. Hold on. Easy Peasy!! Hmmm...not so much. But I'm a work in progress, as all of us are.
Power in forgiveness? Yes. And power from God to truly accomplish true forgiveness. For others, and in some cases, ourselves.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Super Forte
I love love love music! As a kid, I relied on music for entertainment for long days of mom being at work. I listened to nearly every album (go ahead and giggle), eight track tape (guffaw if you must), and cassette (tee hee) we ever owned. I grew up listening to whatever my rock-guitar- playing brother would play, whatever my David Cassidy-loving sister dragged home, whatever my eclectic parents listened to, and should I mention my other brother's Barry Manilow phase? Probably not. I made friends with those who sang, played, or listened to large varieties of music, including the band director's daughter. I came home with more album samples than I could carry from our band director, and I still have them all! My best guy friend back in school, Ben, would send me home with countless CDs to try out. He always had the latest greatest in stereo equipment, which of course led to his stint as a DJ with another friend of ours. He would loan me anything from The Doors to Enigma to Vivaldi! Weird, I know, but I gathered a respect for music as an art form, not just one genre, not just one set of artists. I continue to be amazed by anyone who can create beautiful music. Anyone!
This brings me to some exciting news! Serena had the opportunity this week to sign up for band, and we weren't sure if she really had a strong interest. After all, our girls tend to choose activities that are in direct opposition to each other, and Natalie is very musically talented. Serena tends to get annoyed with Nat's constant singing, piano playing, guitar playing, sax playing, and now drum playing! However, today while speaking with the representative, she really got a twinkle in her eye. I watched her as she fell in love with the idea of playing her own music. Being a part of a band. Being led by one of our favorite teachers, Mr. Burkhart! As she chose her instrument and tried it out, the lights came on and I watched the latest musician in our home come to life! As we walked out to the car and placed her instrument in the trunk, she was visibly excited, giggly, and full of energy. I was quite surprised by her enthusiasm, as I hadn't seen it all week! (i'm purposely not telling you what her instrument is for now)
As we rounded the corner to our house, Serena let out a whoop and a wiggle and yelled, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE A SAXOPHONE IN THE TRUNK OF OUR CAR!! A SAXOPHONE!! MY OWN SAXOPHONE!! I AM SO EXCITED!!" Now I'm busting out laughing while trying to make my way down the road to the driveway. I don't get this much excitement out of this usually tentative, indecisive child!! I was pumped! So, we parked in the garage, and she ran into the house after her sister. "MOM! MOM! POP THE TRUNK!!" She ran in and grabbed sissy while I waited to witness the big surprise. (Nat and the rest of us were expecting a trumpet or drumsticks!!) Natalie was pretty surprised, indeed, that her sister would pick a saxophone (tenor in this case) just like herself! I didn't tell her that it was easier to play because of her newly- metaled mouth, but that was only part of it anyway. If I was being poetic, as I often am, I would say that her choice in instrument was a desire to harmonize with her sister on a whole new level!
And so the neighborhood is alive with the sounds of music and I am in heaven. I'm Julie Andrews, running across the lawn in my bare feet as my kids practice their saxophones.....or maybe I'm running from the noise....can't remember which sometimes!
Ah, no. I do love music. It keeps me alive, happy, healthy, joyful, full of spirit and possibility. Whether it's a ballad, a rock tune, a jazzy bit, or the praise and worship team at church, I am always moved and inspired by music. I am in awe of those who create it. And if you come to my house, expect to bring it! Our piano is to be played, our campfire always needs guitars and voices (Sep and Allison just came to mind!!), and oh, those saxophones...how the sound carries out here!!
Enjoy your music, whatever it is, and if you can't already tell, I am a HUGE proponent of getting kids involved in learning to sing, play, or whatever. From the headphones on a pregnant belly to the band room, whatever it takes!!
This brings me to some exciting news! Serena had the opportunity this week to sign up for band, and we weren't sure if she really had a strong interest. After all, our girls tend to choose activities that are in direct opposition to each other, and Natalie is very musically talented. Serena tends to get annoyed with Nat's constant singing, piano playing, guitar playing, sax playing, and now drum playing! However, today while speaking with the representative, she really got a twinkle in her eye. I watched her as she fell in love with the idea of playing her own music. Being a part of a band. Being led by one of our favorite teachers, Mr. Burkhart! As she chose her instrument and tried it out, the lights came on and I watched the latest musician in our home come to life! As we walked out to the car and placed her instrument in the trunk, she was visibly excited, giggly, and full of energy. I was quite surprised by her enthusiasm, as I hadn't seen it all week! (i'm purposely not telling you what her instrument is for now)
As we rounded the corner to our house, Serena let out a whoop and a wiggle and yelled, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE A SAXOPHONE IN THE TRUNK OF OUR CAR!! A SAXOPHONE!! MY OWN SAXOPHONE!! I AM SO EXCITED!!" Now I'm busting out laughing while trying to make my way down the road to the driveway. I don't get this much excitement out of this usually tentative, indecisive child!! I was pumped! So, we parked in the garage, and she ran into the house after her sister. "MOM! MOM! POP THE TRUNK!!" She ran in and grabbed sissy while I waited to witness the big surprise. (Nat and the rest of us were expecting a trumpet or drumsticks!!) Natalie was pretty surprised, indeed, that her sister would pick a saxophone (tenor in this case) just like herself! I didn't tell her that it was easier to play because of her newly- metaled mouth, but that was only part of it anyway. If I was being poetic, as I often am, I would say that her choice in instrument was a desire to harmonize with her sister on a whole new level!
And so the neighborhood is alive with the sounds of music and I am in heaven. I'm Julie Andrews, running across the lawn in my bare feet as my kids practice their saxophones.....or maybe I'm running from the noise....can't remember which sometimes!
Ah, no. I do love music. It keeps me alive, happy, healthy, joyful, full of spirit and possibility. Whether it's a ballad, a rock tune, a jazzy bit, or the praise and worship team at church, I am always moved and inspired by music. I am in awe of those who create it. And if you come to my house, expect to bring it! Our piano is to be played, our campfire always needs guitars and voices (Sep and Allison just came to mind!!), and oh, those saxophones...how the sound carries out here!!
Enjoy your music, whatever it is, and if you can't already tell, I am a HUGE proponent of getting kids involved in learning to sing, play, or whatever. From the headphones on a pregnant belly to the band room, whatever it takes!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Eight Long Days
As previously "warned", I started a new "diet" last Monday. I finally began following "The 17 Day Diet" by Dr. Mike Moreno. Today is day 8. I can't say it gets easier, but it's not really the dieting that's hard. What is hard is telling my body to not crave certain things. Certain foods that seem to "get me through the day", like sweets, carbs, salty stuff, pop. We all know that when we tell our kids "not" to do something, it's the first thing they want to do. Dieting is no different, no matter what your age!
I admitted last time that I am an emotional eater. What does that mean, really? Aren't we "emotional" all the time? We're happy, we're sad, we're ticked off, disappointed, calm, excited, grouchy, almost 100% of the time. Is this an excuse to eat? It seems that way, especially when so many experts claim that overweight people are that way because they medicate with food. Does this mean that all skinny people are just bouncing off the walls happy?? I think not! I've been skinny longer than not, and I can tell you, I was no different! It's just that back then I could eat 10 oreos and a can of Coke and wake up skinny day after day!
I've decided that dieting is no longer about being skinny or not. It's about my body image. I had a poor body image from day one. It didn't matter if I could wear a bikini or a cute little black dress. It didn't change the way I saw myself in the mirror. I guess you could say I was a good candidate for an eating disorder in my younger days. In fact, I was probably an exercise addict for a few of my teen years. It didn't matter how many compliments I got. It didn't matter what anyone said. I didn't believe them. After having two children and beginning to "fill out", I panicked. I had never been remotely heavy in my life. I thought being a size eight was enormous at the time. That was pretty distorted thinking!!
I now believe that if I don't begin to accept and love the body I have, I will never be a success with any kind of attempted improvement. If my attitude says, "you're not good enough", then will it really matter how thin I get? I don't think so either. I know there is a lot of internal work to be done, and a lot of acceptance to be done. It's more than being on "day eight" for sure. It really is believing that I'm all God says I am and has planned for me to be, no matter the size. Drill drill drill....
As for the diet plan, it's really quite healthy and filling. I've been able to have taco salad, chili, omelets, and plenty of fruit so far. I'm hoping that if anything, it will help me to maintain better eating habits. The rest is all up to me!
I admitted last time that I am an emotional eater. What does that mean, really? Aren't we "emotional" all the time? We're happy, we're sad, we're ticked off, disappointed, calm, excited, grouchy, almost 100% of the time. Is this an excuse to eat? It seems that way, especially when so many experts claim that overweight people are that way because they medicate with food. Does this mean that all skinny people are just bouncing off the walls happy?? I think not! I've been skinny longer than not, and I can tell you, I was no different! It's just that back then I could eat 10 oreos and a can of Coke and wake up skinny day after day!
I've decided that dieting is no longer about being skinny or not. It's about my body image. I had a poor body image from day one. It didn't matter if I could wear a bikini or a cute little black dress. It didn't change the way I saw myself in the mirror. I guess you could say I was a good candidate for an eating disorder in my younger days. In fact, I was probably an exercise addict for a few of my teen years. It didn't matter how many compliments I got. It didn't matter what anyone said. I didn't believe them. After having two children and beginning to "fill out", I panicked. I had never been remotely heavy in my life. I thought being a size eight was enormous at the time. That was pretty distorted thinking!!
I now believe that if I don't begin to accept and love the body I have, I will never be a success with any kind of attempted improvement. If my attitude says, "you're not good enough", then will it really matter how thin I get? I don't think so either. I know there is a lot of internal work to be done, and a lot of acceptance to be done. It's more than being on "day eight" for sure. It really is believing that I'm all God says I am and has planned for me to be, no matter the size. Drill drill drill....
As for the diet plan, it's really quite healthy and filling. I've been able to have taco salad, chili, omelets, and plenty of fruit so far. I'm hoping that if anything, it will help me to maintain better eating habits. The rest is all up to me!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
What We Be Doin' 'round here
We be busy, that's what we be doin'!!
Mother's Day: grilled pizza, cheesecake, coke, Grammy's house, Grandma's house, love, gifts, appreciation
School: track meets of Nat's friends (cuz we love them like daughters!), softball games of friends (love them too), tee ball games, concerts coming up, field trips to the Loons and Greenfield Village,field days, and exams coming up!
Home: Preparing for the pool, readying the soil for garden planting, planning flowers and landscaping, taking care of Sophie (constantly), trying to keep up on laundry, trying to prepare for a garage sale
Personal: dealing with allergies, running to derm and ortho appointments, picking up birthday presents, doggie presents, and being on a new diet.
Family: Amidst all the "stuff", trying to make time for walks, bike rides, and ice cream runs. (no ice cream for me)
And that's what we be doin' right now.
Mother's Day: grilled pizza, cheesecake, coke, Grammy's house, Grandma's house, love, gifts, appreciation
School: track meets of Nat's friends (cuz we love them like daughters!), softball games of friends (love them too), tee ball games, concerts coming up, field trips to the Loons and Greenfield Village,field days, and exams coming up!
Home: Preparing for the pool, readying the soil for garden planting, planning flowers and landscaping, taking care of Sophie (constantly), trying to keep up on laundry, trying to prepare for a garage sale
Personal: dealing with allergies, running to derm and ortho appointments, picking up birthday presents, doggie presents, and being on a new diet.
Family: Amidst all the "stuff", trying to make time for walks, bike rides, and ice cream runs. (no ice cream for me)
And that's what we be doin' right now.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Astounded
I was inspired today by Mr. Thomas Edison when I "saw" him say,
"If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."
Well, I want to be astounded, don't you? Well, maybe not "astounded" by myself.....
Wow. I had a nice long post about this quote and I purposely just hit "delete".
Instead, I will just say that we should be more concerned about how God is astounding us in our lives. The amazing and small things He will do to get our attention. How astounded we should be to see that He is capable of ALL things, and we are capable only when He helps us.
Maybe I should go on to say that when you're working for His purpose and not your own, He will give you more and more capabilities that will show others His power through you.
Wow. You should have seen my other post. Nothing like this one. THAT is astounding in itself.
Have a great Mother's Day...I hope you are astounded by Him and your kids too! :)
"If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."
Well, I want to be astounded, don't you? Well, maybe not "astounded" by myself.....
Wow. I had a nice long post about this quote and I purposely just hit "delete".
Instead, I will just say that we should be more concerned about how God is astounding us in our lives. The amazing and small things He will do to get our attention. How astounded we should be to see that He is capable of ALL things, and we are capable only when He helps us.
Maybe I should go on to say that when you're working for His purpose and not your own, He will give you more and more capabilities that will show others His power through you.
Wow. You should have seen my other post. Nothing like this one. THAT is astounding in itself.
Have a great Mother's Day...I hope you are astounded by Him and your kids too! :)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Weight Just A Minute
I just finished making Sophie's breakfast of fresh peas and carrots, boiled egg and a bit of Rachael Ray's Nutrish. I got to thinking, wouldn't it be great if someone prepared my meals for me all day? I would certainly get something healthier than I am getting now. I may not be reaching for popcorn at 9:30, hershey bars at 2:00, and the ever-present chips and salsa at Dr. Phil time. I lost my self-control and I obviously didn't care!
This winter full of ice, snow, dropping temps, and darkness really took its toll on my weight! I ate my way through snow days, rough roads, a late and snowy spring, and a sick dog. I've eaten my way through stress and situations and celebrations too. I'm an emotional eater for sure!
I figure at least I don't drink and smoke and do drugs, right? I don't use retail therapy, so overeating must be the lesser of all those evils, right? Well, why do we need a crutch at all? It's the question that has one answer. We don't. I've preached about weight loss and believe me, logically I could probably teach anyone how to lose weight and keep it off. As long as they don't watch my example!! Good talker,not so good walker. The jig is clearly up!
So, what am I going to do about miss tighty pants? Well, get ready to laugh "Jenn Deuteronomy", I'm dusting off yet another diet book and I'm going to give it a try. My friend Jenn motivated me the other night when she said she tried the 17 day diet for 8 or 9 days and gave up. Why would that motivate me, you ask? I'm not sure, but I got to thinking that I buy these books, sort of read them, then put them aside. I spent a lot of money on that book and DVD. I can at least try it. Thank you, Jenn!
So, I began by typing up the list of foods I can have for 17 days, which is pretty good, except no good stuff like carbs! Then I typed up a food diary type jobbie where I can fill in the food I ate each meal, saving me the trouble of remembering what I'm supposed to eat. I don't have to count anything, which is good, and I don't have to weigh in!! I don't believe in weighing oneself. That's like sticking a hot needle under your fingernail in my opinion. If you want to know if you are gaining weight, like my mom always said, "it's in the underpants". I'll just leave you with that! :)
So, on Monday, May 9th, I will begin my 17 day diet. Maybe it will take my focus off Sophie a bit and focus it on my own "pooch". Maybe I will enjoy eating healthy and will begin to improve my poo attitude. Maybe I will like dieting. Yeah, right!!
Maybe,just maybe, I'll be a big grouch for 17 days. Who knows, but I'll try to keep you posted on my progress. If anything, you'll get a good laugh!!
This winter full of ice, snow, dropping temps, and darkness really took its toll on my weight! I ate my way through snow days, rough roads, a late and snowy spring, and a sick dog. I've eaten my way through stress and situations and celebrations too. I'm an emotional eater for sure!
I figure at least I don't drink and smoke and do drugs, right? I don't use retail therapy, so overeating must be the lesser of all those evils, right? Well, why do we need a crutch at all? It's the question that has one answer. We don't. I've preached about weight loss and believe me, logically I could probably teach anyone how to lose weight and keep it off. As long as they don't watch my example!! Good talker,not so good walker. The jig is clearly up!
So, what am I going to do about miss tighty pants? Well, get ready to laugh "Jenn Deuteronomy", I'm dusting off yet another diet book and I'm going to give it a try. My friend Jenn motivated me the other night when she said she tried the 17 day diet for 8 or 9 days and gave up. Why would that motivate me, you ask? I'm not sure, but I got to thinking that I buy these books, sort of read them, then put them aside. I spent a lot of money on that book and DVD. I can at least try it. Thank you, Jenn!
So, I began by typing up the list of foods I can have for 17 days, which is pretty good, except no good stuff like carbs! Then I typed up a food diary type jobbie where I can fill in the food I ate each meal, saving me the trouble of remembering what I'm supposed to eat. I don't have to count anything, which is good, and I don't have to weigh in!! I don't believe in weighing oneself. That's like sticking a hot needle under your fingernail in my opinion. If you want to know if you are gaining weight, like my mom always said, "it's in the underpants". I'll just leave you with that! :)
So, on Monday, May 9th, I will begin my 17 day diet. Maybe it will take my focus off Sophie a bit and focus it on my own "pooch". Maybe I will enjoy eating healthy and will begin to improve my poo attitude. Maybe I will like dieting. Yeah, right!!
Maybe,just maybe, I'll be a big grouch for 17 days. Who knows, but I'll try to keep you posted on my progress. If anything, you'll get a good laugh!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
A Morton Kind of Life
When it rains, it pours...says the Morton salt container, and for good reason! It does seem that when one thing goes wrong, the dominoes start to fall. Why the dominoes fall in such a straight line, I do not know, but it's a neat mess to pick up at the end.
Sophie has improved after her trip to the vet last week. I honestly didn't know if she was coming home alive or no longer with us, so the wait was grueling for me at home. Steve sent me a text, letting me know that her lab reports came back fine, that she has nerve damage in her legs, and we're going to try 2 new meds for her other issues. It was sort of a relief, but also a bit of dread, knowing that I will still be picking her up frequently with my bad back. Knowing that we will again have to prepare for impending death, and knowing she's not going to get better. My life still revolves around her. I'm still missing field trips and all sorts of things because she can't be left alone for very long. She requires so much care, as if I still had a newborn, including the late night awakenings. But, what do we do? I can't very well put her down knowing she still has viable life in her. It just is what it is for now, and I have to do what I can do endure. Sometimes you just take one for the team and hope to learn your lesson. Enough said.
Aside from all the doggie drama, we had a nice weekend. We're finding that it's getting more and more difficult to get our young teens to help out around the house. So, more drama ensued when there was yard work to be done and both girls were exhausted from sleepovers. Mom and dad were also exhausted from being up for several nights in a row with Sophie, and for being out late on Saturday night for a brief escape from life. More drama came later, but I've been asked not to share! Like I said, when it rains, it pours, and down go the dominoes!
Feeling bedraggled and wounded from the weekend issues, we went to our favorite Chinese place for dinner last night. Our favorite lady wasn't there, but when she is, she recognizes us and gives us the best table in the house! We just needed to go have some good family time, and we've always celebrated with Chinese food. Report cards, work promotions, vacations, etc...we can always find good in our bad and play in our work.
It's our family, and it's the way we survive. Whether it's raining salt or gold coins, we do it all together, lame dog and all.
So today I am making Aunt Annie's soft pretzels with lots of SALT!!
Sophie has improved after her trip to the vet last week. I honestly didn't know if she was coming home alive or no longer with us, so the wait was grueling for me at home. Steve sent me a text, letting me know that her lab reports came back fine, that she has nerve damage in her legs, and we're going to try 2 new meds for her other issues. It was sort of a relief, but also a bit of dread, knowing that I will still be picking her up frequently with my bad back. Knowing that we will again have to prepare for impending death, and knowing she's not going to get better. My life still revolves around her. I'm still missing field trips and all sorts of things because she can't be left alone for very long. She requires so much care, as if I still had a newborn, including the late night awakenings. But, what do we do? I can't very well put her down knowing she still has viable life in her. It just is what it is for now, and I have to do what I can do endure. Sometimes you just take one for the team and hope to learn your lesson. Enough said.
Aside from all the doggie drama, we had a nice weekend. We're finding that it's getting more and more difficult to get our young teens to help out around the house. So, more drama ensued when there was yard work to be done and both girls were exhausted from sleepovers. Mom and dad were also exhausted from being up for several nights in a row with Sophie, and for being out late on Saturday night for a brief escape from life. More drama came later, but I've been asked not to share! Like I said, when it rains, it pours, and down go the dominoes!
Feeling bedraggled and wounded from the weekend issues, we went to our favorite Chinese place for dinner last night. Our favorite lady wasn't there, but when she is, she recognizes us and gives us the best table in the house! We just needed to go have some good family time, and we've always celebrated with Chinese food. Report cards, work promotions, vacations, etc...we can always find good in our bad and play in our work.
It's our family, and it's the way we survive. Whether it's raining salt or gold coins, we do it all together, lame dog and all.
So today I am making Aunt Annie's soft pretzels with lots of SALT!!