Return to Grateful

Awhile back, I asked God to help me in an area of my life. I mean, I really asked him! I didn’t just say, oh, my weight, my finances, my this, my that….I asked Him for specific help in one specific area. And then I waited. I spent some time being frustrated by what I thought was His silence. What I was really frustrated with was the fact that He was working some things out and preparing my heart. What I thought was a major inconvenience and a real downer was actually God humbling me. God took some things from me. I got confused. He replaced those things with different things. I began to see and understand.  Then I watched and I waited for the next lesson. It came. And then another. Even though things did not (and do not always) appear to have really changed the way I wanted them to, I began to have faith and hope in God’s power to change me. A little at a time.

Some of the things he took from me were material. Some were desires of mine. He replaced them with peace and a knowing that at the right time, He would provide. He wanted me to change the way I thought about a few things. I did.  There are things He has asked me not to do, and I haven’t done them. And because I have obeyed in this area, He is giving me peace about it.  He is giving me better than I had before.

On my weak days, I feel a little self-pity, a little panic, a little anger. But then I remember how far God has brought me and I return to grateful. Blessed. Patient. Obedient.

There are a lot of things in our flesh we may want “fixed”. We may even make a list of what we’re going to do and how we’re going to do it. We think if we join this or join that we’ll lose weight, and blah , blah, blah. Trust me. Unless you are on board, really on board about the change you want to see in your life, you can forget it. God will not just wave a magic wand and change you. He will see how much you trust Him to help you achieve that change. You have to move. Then He will move, and you better be ready and willing to go wherever He takes you.

We would all love a miracle, but the real lesson learned of any difficult thing is how strong did I become because of this situation? How much closer did I get to God because of my struggle? Who can I help now that I know just a tiny bit more than before?  I think the biggest lesson I learn in anything is, It’s not about me. The more I turn inward, thinking of me and what I want, the more God reminds me that it’s not about me. He then has to remind me not to look around at others and compare myself to them, good or bad! He reminds me that He has a purpose for me, He has things appointed for me, He has a plan and a timing that is mine and no one else’s. I need only keep my eyes on Him and my heart open to His lead.