Oh Well

After being sick with a "bug" ( I guess) since June 6th, I finally had a good day on Father's Day. I still took it a little easy, but I didn't have to sleep or sit in a chair all day. I was able to help with the preparations for the day and even felt like "myself", a someone I haven't known in months. 

Now today I'm a bit down again. It's just how this seems to go.  Yesterday I was sweeping the patio and moving furniture around outside. Today I've barely left the couch. It's just unpredictable. I wish this medication would decide to either make itself comfortable or take an obvious hike. I don't have any more time or patience left for the waste of life this is causing. 

I know I'm a broken record. I think my frustration tank is overflowing and my happy cup is tired of the few drops! I am fighting depression on a daily basis without medication which is like being in the ring with a ticked off moose and a blindfold on. Then there is the anxiety... Oh how fun. Where did all that come from? 

And all kinds a stuff is breaking in the house and the cars and I have two teens and Steve will have to start traveling for business and I still can't drive and I have way too much on my mind and the kids bring me problems I can't fix and and and and and.........there is no period to my sentences....

Ever. 

Exhausted. 

Need normal now. 

It's not coming. 

And so I continue to wait. 

And try not to be frustrated. I've prayed. Reasoned. Counted blessings. Tried to stay positive. And here I remain. 

Some things just are what they are until they aren't anymore and that's all there is to it.