Love to Distraction..and other thoughts

I know it's not Valentine's Day just yet, but the word "love" has been on my mind lately. I was reading a book the other day, and a sentence grabbed me. "She loved her children to distraction.." I don't want to say it was one of those annoying "light bulb moments", but it did make an impact.

I am one of those people who love to the point of distraction. When I am focused on my kids and my family, no one else in the world exists. When I would hold my babies, I didn't know who was in the room and I didn't care. I was "distracted" by colic and pacifiers, cheerios underfoot, dirty diapers, and while other moms were out doing what they wanted to do, I was pleasantly "distracted" at home. Though I volunteered in many areas of school and community when they were small, my focus was always them first and I didn't care who that bothered.

I am now "distracted" by teenagers, at least one anyway, and the other who is close behind her. Now I'm "distracted" by basketball practices, basketball games, saxophones, contact lenses, curling irons, straightening irons, shoes, friends...and none of those things are mine. Knowing I have just a few years left with them makes me even more focused on them. I don't care who that bothers either.

Distraction. The definition amuses me. At one point it goes from "to draw or direct (as in one's attention) to a different object or different directions at the same time", to "mental confusion"! Yup. I have both.

Is "love by distraction" an actual style of loving someone? I have no idea, but I can buy the fact that it's hard to love something or someone that you're not focused on. When you let so many other things "direct your attention away from..." that person or thing, can you fully give that love?

Can you love God if you're not focused on Him? Shouldn't I be more distracted by God than I am by basketball? Of course, God knows our earthly lives are full of lots of things, some of them good. But he's also jealous for our love and attention, and for good reason. So while I'm loving my kids and family to distraction, I don't want to be distracted from God, or other people and what they may need from me. That's the problem with me.

This is going to be a real challenge for me. Though "multi-tasking" and "woman" are usually used in the same sentence, I try in vain not to try to do too many things at once. I just can't function that way. I can't have multiple obligations, calendars, promises, dates on the calendar...I just can't be productive that way. Some women can. I'd like to know how! I am the type of person who needs quiet, down time, peace, and organization. I like to be around people who are simple in the way of not trying to do too much at once. I like the peace they bring with them. I like to be able to enjoy the person I'm with without worrying about what time it is or where I need to be next. And while life is not any of the above things I just described, I still try to find peace in my distractions.

I'm sure there's some kind of balance in all of this. I hate the word "balance" by the way, because it assumes everything on each side will just magically even out. It really never does! I have to believe that I can love my kids and family productively while still giving myself to God and to other people. I just haven't figured out how to do it well just yet!