December 27th, 2012 was the last day of my life. Well, life as I knew it, anyway. Then "it" happened. My baby, my youngest, my little blue-eyed baby turned into a monster. I mean, a teenager, of course. She has turned me into something only my mother has been before- a mother of teenagers! My sister in law recently said to me that turning 30 was no big deal, even 40 never bothered her. It was when her youngest turned into a teen that she began to feel old. Washed up. Dried up. Burned out. Well, maybe I'm embellishing a little. She also watches those "Housewives" shows just so she can turn to her husband and kids and say, "See, I'm a nice lady!" I love it...cracks me up.
Anyway, my first teen has been a breeze. In fact, although she is "ultra cool", she still likes to hang out with her dad and I and visit. She's open to my suggestions about lots of things, still likes to sit with me and watch a movie, and answers my questions with full words and sentences! Serena, on the other hand, would like to vaporize us and have the house to herself! She answers every question with "fine" or "I don't know". It's quite exasperating. I think she likes me, but I'm not sure sometimes. She pushes the limits way more than her sister. And although I know I should not, cannot, and really don't want to compare them, it's hard not to. It's those times of me trying to put them in a neat little box that I know I'm making this all about me and my comfort level. Busted!
I think the delicate dance of parenting involves knowing when to take things personally, and knowing when it's not about us at all! It's ALL about them at this point, even their brain development is pretty close to that of an out of control monkey at this age. I know this to be true. I was once a teenager. However, I lived in fear of pushing limits! My fears are probably the same as any other caring parent...will our kids behavior get them in trouble? Are they going to attract the wrong crowd? Will they forget all they have been taught? Will all of my efforts have been in vain after all? See, hard not to make it about me....see what I did there?? :)
Anyway, I can't wrap this post up in a neat little bow with a nice little resolution, because I'm the mother of teens, and both of them are likely to keep me guessing. And graying...and crying...and questioning...and most of all...praying! As much as I can, I will share about the fun and challenges of parenting, because as a mom, it's what I need from other moms too. The truth hurts. Parenting is quite the job. We make mistakes. We learn from others. We hold each other up and we don't judge when one of our kids does something really dumb. Well, maybe in secret some do....anyway, I'm hanging on by a thread...wish me luck!
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