Backing up just a bit, we adopted Angel, our beautiful white maltese-mix back in April. We found her on Petfinder, an association that led us to a caring woman who connected us with our new family member! She had been caring for Angel for several months, having picked her up from a shelter in Ohio. That shelter had allowed young Angel to be impregnated, so the caretaker had her hands full with a young and pregnant dog. She cared for her and helped bring 6 beautiful puppies into the world. Two of the puppies died of a virus, and one became ill with it. She nursed the ill one back to health and took care of the bouncy pups and protective mom. A music major, she often sang to them! Though busy with other animals and obligations, she managed to set up a live feed of Angel and her pups, bringing viewers from all over the U.S. and Canada. Angel and her pups became quite popular and loved. Three of the puppies were adopted out, and the caretaker decided to keep just one. Angel remained, still in need of a permanent home. This would be her third residence. Having been surrendered at about 8 months old, she had not been socialized properly and was terrified of people, especially men, it seemed. From the first moment I saw her sad little face on the website, I knew she was the one. She needed us! We needed her. And I loved her name. “Angel”, the word we now used to describe our departed Sophie. The “coincidences” were amazing!
On that much-anticipated day in April, we finally met with the caretaker and a very frightened Angel. The moment I saw Angel, I was smitten! Her eyes were the color of milk duds and full of soul. With great trepidation, she came into the living room where we all sat quietly, as we were instructed. “Hold out this treat and just let her come to you”, the caretaker quietly said. As Angel came and took her treats from us, she would growl and back away. In a way it was cute, but mostly it was sad. This poor dog had been through so much. She desperately wanted to trust us, we could tell. The caretaker took her time allowing Angel to warm up to us a bit, and three hours later, she was satisfied that we would love Angel and take good care of her. She had driven 90 minutes to bring Angel to us, and we appreciated all of that time she stayed and gave us information and helped us to bond with her. Toward the middle of our visit, she brought in one of Angel’s puppies! He was a spitting image of his mama, and so well trained. A beautiful little gentleman. With tears in my eyes for the caretaker, and maybe a few for myself, I said a “God bless you” to her as she left, taking Angel’s baby with her. We spent the following days and weeks, trying to make Angel feel comfortable and helping her to trust us. It took her one day with me to find out I was her favorite! I became her mommy that day and it’s been like that ever since. Yay! Success for us both! Six weeks later, she decided Steve could stay too!
Fast forward to October. We received an email from the caretaker, asking if we would be interested in also adopting the puppy, since he was now in need of a home. I didn’t ask questions, thinking maybe the owner had a health issue or something. It took about 30 seconds or less for me to think, “YES!” I then had to convince Steve…took a little longer, but he agreed that it would be great for us and for Angel. And of course, we could take awesome care of the little guy as well. For some reason, I immediately said yes. Now, if anyone knows me, they would know that I never say yes that fast. I always ponder and take my time making decisions! I felt a stirring in my heart and I knew I was supposed to do this. I just didn’t know why. While she was planning on giving us the puppy free of charge, I still knew there would be vet bills and other expenses. I just didn’t care. I loved him immediately and anticipated his arrival, which I thought would be within a couple of weeks.
This is the part where I can’t share everything. The days that followed revealed some information that caused a delay in getting our new puppy. A very long delay. And not only was I concerned about the puppy, I was concerned about the situation at hand. After nearly 2 months of fretting, worrying, wondering, questioning, searching, we learned that our puppy was no longer available to us. In fact, he had been moved and we didn’t know where he had gone. With a little tip, I learned where he was being held, and I sent a frantic application, explaining the situation the best I could. Soon after my application was sent, I continued to pray. The following morning, I received a response, but it wasn’t the one I had prayed for. The answer I received was curt, to the point, and without heart, no mention of the story I had explained. No apology, no understanding, no remorse. Just, “thank you for your interest. He has already been placed.” End of story. She didn’t care one iota of all we had been through. Of course she eventually sent me another note, wanting to know everything I knew about him, and I told her about my blog, hoping she would tell the new owners about Angel so they could know a little bit about their puppy. She assured me she would pass the information on to the new owners. I found out later that she had done nothing of what she said she would do, and in fact had only asked the questions out of her own nosiness. I wanted to call her “Cruella”. But I am so glad I responded the way I did instead. She didn’t get from me what she really deserved to hear. She got mercy instead, but I put my head down and cried after that email. We were all so invested in getting this puppy. We had already purchased items for him, and made plans for him. He was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I prayed that although this dog would not be ours, that he was being loved by someone and maybe one day I would be able to reunite mom and pup. I knew I had to accept what was, but it was all so unfair. I had to stop for a minute out of my pity party to realize I wasn’t the only one who was being treated unfairly. I can’t share that part of the story. Anyway… it wasn’t just about me. It never is.
I felt a great stirring of compassion that most people would not understand, given the apparent situation. What I will say is that believing the best of a person is crucial. Crucial. To hear a rumor and to not believe it the way it’s told and to not judge. To listen to your own heart, follow your own instinct, and to not believe everything you hear!! To know all these things is one thing, but to have the test before you is entirely different. They say your true character is exposed when you think no one is watching. Well, God is always watching. I learned that this dog was just not for us to have. No matter how unfair it was. No matter how painful it was for me and the rest of the family. No matter what the circumstances were. And possibly the biggest revelation came in the way of understanding that this lesson probably wasn’t for me after all. Through anger and confusion, I became extraordinarily blessed. Only God can do that. And He used a little white dog to show me something big. And yet, the story gets better….
Because of Angel’s massive popularity, the original caretaker had recommended back in April that I stay in touch somehow, by providing pictures and videos of Angel and her new life. I told her I would love to do that, but with slow dial up, I was afraid it wouldn’t be effective. Instead I decided to start a blog just for her, and I sent the address to the caretaker to pass on to all who had watched Angel on the live feed. It didn’t take long to meet these wonderful “aunties” of Angel and the pups. I was amazed and touched by their love and interest in these little “pound puppies”! I continue to be blessed by their comments and encouragement today. And because I decided to put that blog together, the new adoptive owner of our intended puppy was able to contact me a couple of months ago. She did a simple internet search and just happened to come across something that accidentally led her to Angel’s blog, which as far as I remember, cannot be accessed by a google search. Of course there are no “accidents”. She was meant to find me. She sent a couple of cryptic messages at first, and I was reluctant to respond. If I was able to give you the whole story, maybe you would understand this better. Please know that I just can’t, out of respect for someone’s privacy. This woman just asked me to contact her but didn’t say why. She promised she wasn’t a “crazy person”, which endeared her to me, and so I made my decision. I was a little afraid of what I would hear, since I didn’t know at the time who this was or what they wanted. I took a deep breath and told her how to contact me. The email that followed brought me to tears.
“I am “ ‘s” new owner.” It began. My eyes began to blur, but I forced myself to read the rest. What I found was a person who was hurting because she had learned through my blog that she ended up with the dog I was supposed to get. She wanted to assure me that she didn’t know anything about me. She felt heartbroken and bad for me, and was in fact worried that we may be mad at them. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth!
At that moment I was so glad that I had prayed about all of this. My heart had no anger at all toward this new young family from the very beginning and I was so relieved that I hadn‘t reacted that way. In fact, this email left me overflowing with gratefulness and compassion. I was so happy that this little puppy had found a wonderful, loving family who needed them as much as they needed him! I learned that he would be loved by a sweet little boy and girl, a mom, a dad, and a cat! It didn’t take us long to connect and find things in common, aside from our extremely similar pets! I have since come to learn that this is her first dog, as her parents would never let her have one growing up. This little dog has blessed their little family so much that she began a blog about him too! Had I ended up with that little dog, she would have missed out on all of that love and affection that he brings her every day. It was meant to be. For her.
The Lord works that way, you know? I was able to share with her some information that she did not have, and upon learning it, she was able to find resolution over some important questions. Sorry for all the code. Still not all of my story to tell. Anyway, it gave her peace to know what I knew. And with this information, she was able to reach out to the one person who needed it most. And not only did this resolve the whole situation, but it brought peace where it was needed for all. I would like to think it brought about new friendships as well. I hope one day we will be able to get our dogs together for that reunion I prayed about in the beginning. And though our dogs had a happy ending, there are still more in need of love and homes that I continue to pray about.
This experience was just another great orchestration of God’s power and the fact that He cares about all things, great and small. Even little white dogs who need homes. People who need understanding. And me, who didn’t get the dog, but got a whole lot more.
Mother and son on their last day together- April 26, 2012
3 comments:
An amazing story. Thanks for sharing. It's amazing what happens when we surrender "it all" to God and let Him work in our hearts. I'm so glad that God used little white dogs to bless so many. God is so good. Reading both your blogs is a blessing to me. Angel reminds me so much about the lassoapso/maltese that I lost this fall. I'm so happy that Angel is becoming more and more at peace.
Jami, I read selected parts of you blog to my 7-year old, Maria. We were both in tears. Thank you so much. This is truly beautiful.
Bless you Jami. As one of the aunties, thank you for your love, compassion and understanding.
Cathy
Post a Comment
Words Matter. Choose them carefully.