This has been the story of my life and I'm tired of it. I was a sickly kid, underweight, always missing school, one infection after another. My teenage years included allergies and migraines, which have hung around. I am tired all the time. I want to be active and energetic, but if I try to remember a time I was like that, the memories are short, vague, and sprinkled with sickness. Maybe I was 5 or 6 I don't even know. I start the day feeling okay, even after a not so good night of sort of sleep, but my battery dies quickly after lunch. I find myself wearing out faster as I get older, and it scares me to think that one day I will just curl up in a rocking chair! I don't envision this life for myself. I want to know what "normal" people feel like. People who can run and play and not feel sick afterwards. People who make plans and get to keep them. I cancel a lot. People who can remain positive. I struggle with this, as my physical and mental states are at war.
I want to be one of those people who works out at 6am or takes a class in the evening. I just don't feel well. And it's been my entire life.
I'm just venting today, really. I know there are those worse off than me. Truthfully, I might understand them a bit too well sometimes. I keep going, but sometimes I wonder if I never feel any better, will I one day just give up? I hope not.
2 comments:
Don't give up Jami! I understand the feeling of being sick all the time. Keep eating healthy, even if it doesn't seem to make a difference I'm sure it does.
What helped me was Eph 2:10. Especially the part "which He planned in advance for us to do". I realized that God knew in advance that I would have MS. While being sick wasn't in my plans, it was in His and he still has a perfect plan for me. I"m sure he does for you too. You're an awesome Mom and that counts for a lot.
Father God, thank you that healing is the children's bread and Jami is your child who is in need of your healing in her life and body. In Jesus name we ask you God almighty to heal Jami and give her the word of faith that she needs to push through this attack of the enemy who is out for her soul and life. We believe with her that you sent your word and healed Jami and that she will prosper and be in health as her soul prospers. Amen and amen! 1 Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
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