U of M Appointment

I wasn't sure what I thought of the doc as he led me into exam room 3 this afternoon at U of M Neurology.  He was quiet, unassuming, and he made me feel a little unsure. He just kinda looked at me, looked down at his papers, and said, so....you've been having some headaches and visual disturbances. 

Then silence.......mine. I looked at his cool medical bag with the gold SEC engraved initials and thought, "that's a big bag." Yup. Nothing. I got nervous. I looked back, stammered, and realized somehow my brain and tongue were useless. 

Thankfully he forgot some of my papers and had to go back and get them, because it gave me time to loud whisper at Steve. "He's making me nervous! I don't know what to say! Why won't he ask me questions?" I wrung my hands a little and the doc kinda waddled back in. Yes, I said waddled. By the way, I saw my weight today. I was waddling too! :) 

Okay, I pulled it together and then I really got going. I'm sure he started wishing he had planned some questions because he suddenly stopped me and said, "let's get you focused." He was right! I was talking a million miles an hour left and right and in the ditch and ended it with, "that's why I'm here". 

I had lost focus because nearly every doctor I've ever seen had a different diagnosis, different medication, different theory, different approach, and all of them left me sicker than before. 

Suddenly this quiet unassuming doctor changed and became concerned, soft spoken, and insightful. He's not a forceful, commanding, aggressive doctor, but as he listened I could feel his confidence and his skill. He began to deal with not only the physical aspect of what may be going on, but the emotional toll as well. And while he spoke to me he looked me straight in the eyes.  He would have sat there and listened as long as I needed him to. He talked to me about non-neurology topics and treated the whole person, because that's what I am! I'm not just a brain! So many specialists stick to their specialty and forget to connect the dots! 

He told me to call anytime and he would go over anything with me. Most importantly he told me to go live my life the way I want to! He said exercise! Walk your dog! Have fun with your girls! Swim in your pool! Don't limit yourself! And as soon as I feel stabilized on the drug I am on, I am free to drive! It could be another month, could be sooner! 

So what does he think diagnosis-wise? Well, the original EEG done locally was inconclusive and he wasn't comfortable using it, so we did another one today. I go back to see him in early August. Judging by my symptom pattern and MRI, he can't conclude for sure seizures or new migraine pattern, but his reassurance was that my medication will prevent both. If I can just hang on a bit longer and get used to the medication, then I should be able to live a normal life. If it is seizures, I don't lose consciousness, so that is really good! And if it is migraines, it means they are probably just changing pattern and it may be exacerbated by hormonal changes. So until I have the newest EEG evaluated, I'm just going on as normal and giving my body a bit more time to adjust to the medication. It has been a hard long road! 

Doc agreed that I had been having full blown anxiety and depression, which is common with chronic illness. Feeling like you can't contribute to your family, feeling limited, losing interest in the things you love, chronic fatigue, muscle tension, and the worst, not knowing what is wrong with you! Medications can make it worse and on my case, I was taking 4 medications that brought me down chemically.  This was not the fault of my docs, but just the way my body was reacting to the drugs at the time I was taking them. My docs are great. 

Again, thank you those who have held me up in thoughts and prayers. I am blessed to call you friends and family. And to my dear hubby....

You're getting your own post....