So my kids, including my borrowed one, are trapped, I mean, riding, with me in the van 10 minutes each morning. Sometimes that time is filled with their chatter or the business of breakfast-eating, but sometimes, I get the floor.
Today was one of those days. I used to call these talks "Mom Sermons", because I talked and they listened. I didn't mean for it to be that way today, but that's what happened. Here's why...
It all started when I shared with Serena that her friend's mom was getting married this weekend. This particular friend was involved in a serious accident with his dad 2 years ago. The accident left his dad traumatically brain-injured and unable to return to "himself". Her friend sustained broken bones, and after a lot of surgery and therapy and healing, he was able to recover well. After awhile he moved away, but they kept in touch once in awhile. These two particular guys, father and son, were always together. I had the pleasure of going on a 6th grade camping trip with them, and anyone could see what a special bond they had together. And nice! Incredibly nice-both of them. The boy's mother too.
So I said I was sad that although he still had his dad, he wasn't the same dad he remembered and spent time with as a son, but that he would now be getting another chance with a stepdad. It is bittersweet. None of us can even imagine or even try to understand having to go through something so hard, and he was only 12. The van was quiet.
Then Natalie said, "Is that like----?" And she named her classmate and friend whose mom passed away of brain cancer while he was in the fourth grade. Before I could answer, she asked, "what was she like? Does he look like her?" I went on to describe her...
"She was one of the nicest preschool moms. While some of the others ignored me, she made a point to not only talk to me, but to include me in her conversations. She told me how cute you were and how she thought her son might have a little crush on you. How she could see why. She offered to sit with you on the preschool float and keep you safe and help you throw candy. And later she told me she snuck a couple bit-o-honeys out of your bag because they were her favorite. She was a beautiful woman. She had pretty brown eyes, a sharp nose like her son, a ready laugh, and she was always dressed for a party."
"And when she was stricken with cancer, I didn't even know it until I ran into her at a t-ball game and she didn't look the same. But her eyes and smile were the same. And her kindness was still there."
"And yes, her son looks like her. When he is sweet and he hugs you, it's her. When he's kind, it's her. He is blessed because he's part of her."
Then the cracked voice (which rarely ever cracks, by the way) said to me, "mom, we need to stop talking about this..."
My voice was cracking too and the windshield was getting blurry..must have been the rain...and I finished my piece for the morning...
"Appreciate the people in your life. Maybe your parents aren't perfect or they make you mad sometimes, but be grateful that they are still here to tell them that! Love your annoying siblings. Someone wishes they had what you have."
As we arrived at the school and they prepared to "disembark the mom bus", I heard, "thanks for the uplifting talk, mom"
Sarcasm...yeah, that's how I stuff my emotions too, dear ones. You learned that from me. So in return, I said, "get out of my van and go change the world!"
They always smile when I say that.
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