Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Get Behind Me. I'm Going Forward

It seems that my seizure issues are stable, though I'm still struggling with migraines periodically. I could handle that, but for just over a year now, a new issue started, and I still don't have relief for it. 
It is increasingly frustrating, as it seems I just conquer one health battle, only to have it replaced with another one. The specialist I've seen can't find a solid answer for my condition, and it could be any number of things. Something tells me I will end up back at U of M, new department. Ugh. This is getting old and so am I, waiting for that moment when I finally feel "whole". Will that ever happen? I wonder sometimes. 
On the "good" days, which has been about 2 in the last 14, I do my workout and try to catch up on all my housework. Again, I find myself missing out on life as I pick and choose what things I can't do outside of my home. This issue I'm having can be painful and unbearable and it leaves me exhausted. 
It doesn't surprise me that in the middle of it all I'm still trying to attain a goal of writing a book. However, I find myself very distracted. 
I am blessed to be stubborn, and I tend to shuck my symptoms and stay as positive as I can on the outside. I am rearranging our home office to accommodate my writing space. I'm busy making plans, writing notes, encouraging others, and doing my normal tasks at home for my family. In other words, I'm not letting my illness become my permanent thorn this time. 
Sick of this? Yes. Annoyed enough to fight it and find answers, but not going to let it get the best of me and stop me from doing my thing. 
Get behind me. God didn't bring me this far to just leave me behind now. 
My struggle is to make me strong. Right? 
I'm gonna move mountains, apparently, and it's gonna be a really good book too. 
Be blessed. I'm going to, whether my body agrees or not. 

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