ABO Gifts

Hey, remember asking the kid next to you if they want a piece of "ABC" gum? Oh, yeah, you did it. Then with a sly grin, you pull the gum right out of your mouth and offer it to them. "Already Been Chewed!! A-ha-ha, you're so dumb, neener neener".....whatever you said as a kid....

Well, I'm here to tell you that I look at recycling and re-gifting just like ABC gum. I call them "ABO" gifts....Already Been Opened!! I know some of you guilty gusses are getting all up on your hind quarters right now. Well, sidddowwn for a minute, will ya? Let me 'splain it to ya.

Here it is....okay, I know we're in an economic slump, but gift giving is about being thoughtful, not cheap. Not practical. Not economical at all. It's a gift. It should hurt a little. Just a pinch. It's not about going up into your attic and saying, "Oh, that Allison is so nice, what piece of garbage should I give her?" Okay, if it's not good enough for you, why would your nice friend deserve that?? I don't care if it's brand new and still has all the tags, blah blah...I don't care that it's blue and matches nothing in your house. It doesn't matter that you don't have time to shop. Hello, if she's important, you make time!

Let me tell you what you can do with your ABO gifts....now, now, I WAS NOT going to say THAT! Some good suggestions: give them to your friend ONLY if it is something they enjoy more than you do, only if it matches something they have, and if you know they will just die over it. Here's the kicker....DON'T WRAP IT! Just hand it over and say, "Someone gave me this and it made me think of you, I'd like you to have it." Period. No bow, no tag, no thank you. You don't deserve the thank you. You didn't buy it, sillyhead!!

Gifts come from the heart, not your basement tubs, I always say. And really, do you want to run the risk of one day opening a gift that you gave someone 5 years ago and they forgot it was from you?? Hey, that happened to me...embarassing, but not for ME! Cheap Cheap Cheap, says the dirty bird.

Okay, I'm all done having my fun now. If you're re-gifting, go for it, but let me tell you what is more worthy to me...Open up a bag of Kingsford Charcoal Briquettes, bag them up in a cutesy bag with a cute ribbon, and hand them out. Tell them it comes with a promise to grill steaks next summer and call it a party. On you. Yes, you pay for it. Yes, with your own money. If they don't like that idea, they're stuck with a bag of coal. So be it.

Thanks for letting me have my fun....you should stay tuned for my most impressive annual Christmas letter. I can't wait to tell you how successful little Billy is now!