Nat started 7th grade this year, and I started to notice her bonding more and more with a couple of her friends. I thought it was great that she had such a nice circle of friends, so I began asking her what had changed. She didn't really know, but it started to come to her realization slowly. Most of the girls in her class now have boyfriends. Yes, you heard me. Boyfriends. Freshman boyfriends. Natalie and her circle of friends are not into boys yet, so they hang out together. Smart girls!!
Call me old-fashioned, if you must, but does anyone else think that 7th grade is a bit young for all of that?? I've seen them in the parking lot after school, hugging goodbye as they board the busses, and I scratch my head in confusion. Really? You need a boyfriend already? Need?? Has it really come to that? Nattie still likes to cuddle with her dad. I can't imagine her cuddling with a boy at 12 years old!
I have taught my girls that having a boyfriend is something they must wait for! They are not to be calling and texting boys or pulling up their pants, as I saw one classmate do! Whoa! I've encouraged them to have boys as friends, as they can be some of the best friends they'll have in school. Girls can be pretty nasty sometimes. It's always great to have a boy who is a friend. I've taught them that having a boyfriend cannot be so important that it trumps your friendships! I've told them that you'll never NEED a boyfriend, but when you are ready, you may want one. If you never have one, it's probably a good thing. If you like to date, then date and don't get serious! I've also said to them at this point in their lives, boyfriends are NOT ALLOWED!! I know at least 2 other parents who are on board with that concept. I hope there are more out there!
Not only do some of these classmates have boyfriends, but if they happen to get "dumped", they find another boyfriend that same day. Again, I am perplexed by all of this! It's like having a boyfriend is like getting the latest tech gadget, you just can't live without it!
I wasn't interested in boys until high school, believe it or not! I preferred the company of my friends and my books! I thought boys were rude, crude, smelly, offensive, shallow, and pimply!! It seems as soon as boys entered my radar, things got really complicated! In hindsight, I would have spent more time with my friends, having fun.
I am saddened by these girls who think having a boyfriend is so important at this time in their lives. They will be exposed to things they are not ready for. They will compromise. Their self-worth will be decided by some boy. I'm not saying it happens to all of the girls, but not much has changed since I was in 7th grade. The girls are pretty much the same, and the boys? Well, boys are boys.
I pray that my girls will listen to me and their dad when we tell them to wait for these things. We really do know best! There is so much pressure on girls today that parents really need to be up on what's going on around their kids. For me,being home with my girls has given me such a unique perspective of their lives. I am in their lives 24/7. I don't miss much! I know if I was in the work force, I would be preoccupied with other things, and would probably not even think about what their friends are doing. I'm certain I wouldn't be as observant as I am now. My kids don't mind my presence now, but who knows what will happen as they mature. I'm laying down the law while they'll still listen!!
So, tell me, what do YOU think? Is 7th grade too young to date?
3 comments:
Can you really call it "dating?" I mean it's not like he's going to pick her up in his car or anything. The whole idea of a boyfriend in 7th grade is absurd. Kids are not emotionally ready for that. I think the other thing that bothers me is the 7th graders having highschool boyfriends. When I was in school, a freshman did not associate with 7th and 8th graders because they were hot stuff now that they were in high school. I believe this might be a downfall to closing the middle school and exposing the kids to the highschool? Just some thoughts...
Yes, Jami, I'm 100% behind you in this. Girls at that age usually don't know what having a boyfriend means. And at this young age in with the high school kids just makes it that much more difficult for young girls to keep their focus on school and not boys.
Pam
Oh I am so on board with you on this! When I was 12 I was still a little girl...my mom still did my hair for me sometimes! Was I interested in boys? Sure. But I was fortunate to have a great group of friends who came from families with high morals so i never became obsessed with being needed by a boy, and my friendships were my life! Unfortunately, I think the reason a lot of (little) girls act the way they do comes straight from the way they are raised (or lack of) Your girls are so lucky (no, blessed) to have such a great mom who cares enough about them to lay down the law no matter how hard it is sometimes! I am so glad that I am not the only who feels this way :)
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