Focusing on the Gift that Matters

We're beginning to plan for Christmas, which includes getting an idea of what we can afford this year. Notice I said "includes". I hope it goes without saying that Christmas is far more than presents under the tree! But, we do have 2 girls who are getting older and with that comes more pricey tags. We're careful with our spending, as my choice to be home to raise the girls means one income. There's nothing wrong with cutting down whether you have one income or two, or whether or not we're in tough economic times. What matters is the condition of your heart when it's gift giving time.

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas and some things I haven't enjoyed about it because those are things I don't want to repeat. I've thought about the word "gift" and what that means. To me, it means giving of your own accord and giving when you really truly have it in your heart to give. Another way of looking at it is if you have to pull out a credit card to please someone else, that's not a true gift at all. When it endangers your economic status and goes against your beliefs, or you're doing it to fit in or to please someone else, that's just not a gift.

With that said, let me flashback a bit. In Steve's family, we have been known as the "black sheep" when it comes to Christmas. I was the only one who chose to be a stay at home mom, and our spending was very limited. While they drew names and had what I considered too high limits for spending, we had to pass. We felt pretty horrible when they gave our children gifts. We just couldn't buy 11 kids Christmas presents! How fun was that, you ask? Oh, not at all, and it certainly didn't gain us (mostly me) any brownie points at the time. My suggestion to do a "chinese" auction was met with a not so welcome reception. I tried. I truly didn't want to shake things up, but no matter what I did, I looked bad. I say "I" because you know the in-law usually gets blamed for everything. It's okay, I can take it.

When I was worried about how I was going to pay for gifts for my OWN children, I couldn't possibly be worried about spending another $60 on a sibling who seemed to have way more than I had in the first place. See, it just brought out some ugliness all the way around. It got ugly when we refused to go along with it, but I knew in my heart that we had done the right thing.

Isn't it sad that when we sit around and talk about Christmas parties or gatherings, that there's always a story like this one? Wouldn't it be nice if everyone understood and respected someone else's financial situation? Wouldn't it be nice if we focused on family and God and the birth of our Savior and let that be the gift on the table, under the tree, and in our arms??

In my family, we don't exchange gifts with my siblings. We bring a favorite dish to pass, we have a wonderful meal, we talk and catch up, laugh, play games, and take pictures. There is no pressure to walk through that door. You don't need to worry if your arms aren't loaded with gifts. You only need to worry if you're on a diet!! Some years, when all can handle it, we will do an auction, but if times are tough, we leave it out. NO big deal!! Just come so you can be hugged!

Now in Steve's family, they do a chinese auction. I'd like to say I told you so, and I guess I just did, but at least we can walk in there and not feel the pressure of walking in without gifts. Sometimes it just has to be someone else's idea. Whatever works.

Make sure when you are giving a gift that you really want to give it. Don't do it out of obligation, guilt, or even spite. You're not doing yourself or anyone else a favor by being a big ole phony. Christmas means One thing to me. That is the focus I choose to have. It makes the difference between having a stressful holiday, or a holiday full of joy. I choose the latter.

Be blessed as you enter the holiday season and keep your eyes on the GIFT!