Sigh...as I sit here in silence, I should be relaxed and quiet. The truth is, I don't really know how to relax unless I am exhausted and I fall into bed. I am being honest. I do not know how to lay on the couch with a blanket and watch a movie. Nope. It's just not in me. I have to be doing something every minute. I may blog a bit, or play a computer game for a few minutes, but I'm not even relaxed at that moment. I'm always thinking there is something else I should be doing. When I'm shopping and I've stayed a bit too long (like at Michael's), I start to get a weird feeling in my stomach, almost like an anxious feeling that tells me it's time to go home. Though I can have a laid back attitude, I'm probably not as laid back on the inside as I should be. That's my confession for today. Take it or leave it.
This has been a challenging week for someone who doesn't relax. The kids are both in after school activities, church has started up again, and Steve has been frazzled about work, to say the least. Do you ever remember hearing about the chain of reactions when dad has a bad day? Dad comes home, gets mad at mom, mom gets upset at the kids, and the kids kick the dog? Well, it wasn't that drastic here, but I could clearly see how letting the stress of life can really mess everybody up in an instant. We were running late, Serena ran around in the dirt in her socks, couldn't find her study paper for science....we just had little annoyances that felt like they were building and building.
I tried in vain to keep a good attitude, I read scriptures, I took deep breaths, but I could see just how hard that was going to be to maintain. Some days are just like that! We live in a screwed up world where people don't do what you ask them to do and it causes a big problem. I call it life's chemical reaction. Hold out your cup of baking soda, and people pour in just a little vinegar....too much, and it will overflow!! However, we can stop the reaction process with ourselves!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again..we can have peace when there is no tangible reason to have it. We can have it because of the peace God has already given us. We can trust that he will work things out for our good, no matter how big or small they are. We can lean on Him when our day is not going so swell, and know that He will use all of our stumbling blocks for a higher purpose. Dirty socks too? Yes. Serena will be handwashing her own socks after tennis tonight, in my effort to show her that it is more work for me when she doesn't respect her clothes. How can that be a "purpose"? It is one more opportunity to teach her something of value. It's annoying when the kids leave stuff all over the house and I have to step over it until they decide to pick it up. But the lesson I teach them is worth letting it sit there. Yes, it is painstaking work. Just like trying to make it in this world.
It is harder to do what is right, but so worth it. I am so glad Pastor Dave is doing a Wed. class on "Boundaries", because as parents, the stress of life sometimes causes us to let the boundaries blur a bit. We just can't do that! By the way, there are so very few of us in this class....PD has put together a great class. I know he doesn't mind doing it for 4 or for 40, but it is such a valuable class that it's a shame more parents aren't coming. So, tell everyone you know about it! It's not just a class about kids....it's about our own boundaries. Good stuff. Last night we even discussed politics, and I'm so glad because it wasn't about R's and D's, hatred and narrow minds, but about keeping ourselves informed and thinking for ourselves, which I wholeheartedly believe in. PD has some great wisdom in this area. I usually cringe at political discussions, but I actually walked away from this one feeling better. Good job, PD!
I pray that you're not letting stress steal your blessings as it tried to steal mine. Stay on your knees when this is happening on your life. Keep your eyes up and keep making lists of what you are grateful for. That is one way to keep the vinegar out of your cup!!
2 comments:
As a mother, a wife, a friend, a Christian, a blogger and so on, it looks like you have a lot of shoes to fill, and a bunch of responsibilities to take care of. That might explain the guilt you describe in those moments where you've treated yourself to a "luxury" like relaxing. I admire that - I wish I could be motivated to stay busy, and I would personally prefer to stay busy than lethargic and glutenous. Then again, it's all a balancing act I guess, take care of yourself!
Just today I had one of those "chemical reaction" moments myself...one thing goes wrong and it all falls apart. But thankfully God is patient, and I am learning...I stopped, and asked God to help me through the situation. And you know what? It turned out just fine! I am so thankful for the change that God is making in me!
Post a Comment
Words Matter. Choose them carefully.