Tuna Tuesday

I woke up today and it felt like Monday all over again, only without the thunder and lightning. Maybe I should mention that my wake up call involved a heinous smell at 4am. A smell that my dear dog created, along with her cow patty sized present on the floor beside my bed. I dragged my zombie self out of bed, flashlight in hand. I've learned to keep a flashlight nearby for these events that are common in her elder dog years. It's either a flashlight or a pair of galoshes. Ya know?

I wadded up some tissue and carried her present as far from my nose as possible and flushed it with a vengeance, carrying the Lysol in my other hand. By then, I was wide awake. I couldn't get the smell out of my nose, let alone the room, and my dog went back to sleep. Lucky her. I tried to spray the Lysol quietly and strategically so as not to hit the dog or wake the hubby. Sigh. Thank God for Vicks Vaporub. Crime Scene Investigators use it, and so do I.

At least we made it to school on time and no one forgot anything. See, I remember to count my blessings. I do. There is exactly one.

I decided to make a tuna, lettuce, and tomato sandwich for lunch, in keeping with my so-called healthy eating plan. Another big sigh. I pulled out my trusty Pampered Chef can opener and went to town on my solid white albacore in water. Nope. It was not to be. I could not get my can opener to work for the first time ever! I pulled out my old cruddy standby opener, and it started to take part of the top off, leaving big solid attached pieces here and there. Great. I pulled out a sharp knife and started hammering at the attached sides, thinking all the while, "do I know how to get to the ER?" Okay, putting the knife away, I grabbed a fork and tried to pry the sides open to get the tuna out. Suddenly, the can flipped and landed face down in my utensil drawer. Oh, brother. I caught it as quickly as I could and tried in vain to get it open. Oh, geez. Now I'm not even hungry anymore!!

I should just stop there, really, and tell you that the key to any diet is to never be able to open your food source. But, eventually, I got part of the can open and was able to make my sammie. Unfortunately, the tuna can did not make it to the recycling bin, I couldn't rinse it properly, and so all day long all I smelled was tuna. And the memory of the cow patty. Together. Sigh.

I guess you could say I focus too much on the annoyances in my life, but really, it's just humorous to me. Just like the way Steve "fixed" the toilet in the girls' bathroom! He bejiggered or bedazzled something in the back of the stool and now,seriously, it sounds like an airplane taking off every time they flush!! We can't help but laugh, but seriously, one night I darn near flew out of bed, thinking we were under attack!

It's no wonder why my dear daughter said to me today, "Ya know, mom, you talk about poop a lot." Yeah, well, it's all I got right now, you little stinker. Get it? Stinker!

Have a nice day, friends!