Why I find forgiveness such a challenge:
1. The person continues to offend blatantly
2. Because I continue to have better expectations of that person, I continue to be disappointed
3. My disappointment leads to more frustration
4. Because I can't avoid the offender(s), I feel like I am constantly their target- just waiting for the next attack
5. My expectation of better behavior then turns to an expectation of typical behavior
6. I remain disappointed, hurt, angry
7. I can't forgive so I remain indebted to anger and a prisoner to that person
Sigh...as if I don't have enough to deal with right now.
Funerals bring out the best and the worst in families, and unfortunately there was some of the latter. When you have divorce, you just know it's coming. When you have people who are incredibly self-centered, it's coming. When you have people who lack compassion, love is not present. People get hurt. It stinks and I'm tired of it and I don't know how to forgive it anymore.
It is overwhelming.
1 comment:
My dear sister Jami.
First of all miss Jami please stop over analyzing all the emotion that is going on around you right now. You need to grieve and let yourself feel what you are feeling. Your heart has been wounded and crushed and you need to remember the good things that you and your brother experienced in life at this time. Cry when you want to cry and smile at the good memories when they are flashing in your mind and heart. Don't worry about everyone else who is also grieving and may be manifesting their hurt feelings toward you. You are not their punching bag you are our sister in the Lord and we bless you in Him who first loved us all. Take a walk in that beautiful forest in your yard and have a scream or two or three and grieve till the peace of God starts to take its rightful place on the throne of your heart again. Don't worry about smeared makeup or puffy eyes you have earned the right to have them right now and take as long as it takes to get your peace back. May God's face shine on you and keep you in the peace and love of God. May you get the answers you are looking for and may you rest in the arms of Jesus during your time of grieving.
Post a Comment
Words Matter. Choose them carefully.