Being Winsome

One of my daughters told me the other day, "I just got a text from youth. It says I've been chosen to find and bring new teens to youth group. Seems like it's kind of a secret, but I'm telling you!" 

I was glad she blew the "secret", as it gave me an opportunity to give her firsthand knowledge of this very subject. 

I began with telling her my story of being a teen, not being part of a church ( a no-no for ex-Catholics at that time), and being purposely excluded from the very youth group my daughters now attend! My friends(so-called) couldn't wait to tell me of all the fun they were having with their youth group, yet never once invited me. See, I was an "outsider". They didn't want me. They only wanted "good Christian kids". I felt shunned. 

Somewhere in my limited-spiritual knowledge mind, this felt completely off. Didn't God love everyone? Even Catholics who left their church out of principle? Did Jesus leave people out because they weren't "clean enough" to come worship with the so-called "good" people? I had so little Bible knowledge, but even then I thought I was right and they were the wrong ones.

While some churches may still feel their youth groups should only be for Christians, I believe youth groups should be available to anyone who wants to be there. Kids who are still in the dark can be rowdy, crass, and unpleasant. Guess what? So can kids in the light! They're teens, after all. We should be blessed that they walk into the doors rather than past them! Doesn't God take us where we are? Sorry, but some well-meaning Christians are a little too narrow-minded sometimes. I just can't take that. 

Anyway, this was the answer I gave her- "before you go rounding up all these "new" people, it would be more important to talk to the ones who left first. Chances are they don't feel missed. They feel unimportant. At least invite them back first, then recruit new. 

Know how I know this? I've lived it. Over and over. This is how God changes our hearts. Sometimes we need to feel ignored, stomped on, or betrayed so that He can shine even brighter. Maybe that's the light I felt in high school when those girls continually left me out of their perfect Christianity. That was God pinging my heart, assuring me they were wrong. 

It would be years after that when I would truly give my heart to Christ. It was just between us. All my Christian friends were long gone by then. 

I sure hope my daughter can attract people to God by being loving and kind. By being able to answer questions without the words hell and damnation ever being said. It's not our job to condemn and threaten. It's our job to do one thing and one thing only. Love. 

If we can't love, then we're not working for God. We can't be winsome by standing on judgemental soapboxes and pointing fingers. We can't reflect love by being jerks. I recently read a Facebook post by a Christian man I once knew and it made me so irate that I couldn't get back to sleep!! The heart of my anger was that because of his blatant legalism, people lose trust in churches and even God. They make other Christians go around cleaning up the messes their words make. 

Yes, my daughter has a tough job ahead, but she wants to succeed. To bring her friends in, introduce them to youth, and let God do the rest. We should all approach it this simply.