Love in Order

About a week ago I felt the kids were getting their "Faith Family Friends" priorities a little out of order. I was tired of trying to make points and getting frustrated and trying to fight for family time. I ended up in tears one day out of sheer frustration, wondering if I could even make them care or understand anymore. After all, kids are pretty pliable and content to go along with whatever the family does until something happens....the teen years. Puberty. The whole independent, wing-flapping, tongue-wagging, brain not fully formed yet, self-gratification,me, me, me, and some more me time in their lives. It happens to the best kids and yes, even you so-called righteous parents. Be warned. Put your hard hats on. 

Ah, yes, it is temporary, but like any teenado (as I'm calling our storms lately), they aren't without some kind of destruction. It is a time of exploration in a world that has been deemed by us to be mostly unsafe and off-limits. Sigh. Eye-roll. Shrug. Huff. No, you're not watching that. No, you're not doing that, going there, wearing those, and on and on the list of "nos", until they are sure we want them to live in a bubble for the rest of their lives. I find it a little comical actually, because we actually feel we negotiate and compromise quite fairly so that our kids don't feel sheltered and overprotected.  But we draw our lines at things that we feel dishonor God and them and our family values. Do we care that some of their classmates are watching R-rated movies and they can't? "Mom, I feel like such a baby sometimes." Sorry, daughter. We have our reasons. So and so gets to do this and that...yes, she does. Do you want to be her? The answer? No...boundaries, my dear. They are there to protect you, not to smother you. In due time, everything has a season and a time. Why do kids want to rush everything these days? They are doing what adults are doing at such young ages. Why be in such a hurry? 

I tell my daughters to take their time in life. To be kids as long as they can because adulthood is right around the corner and it's forever. It doesn't end like childhood. Please be little as long as you can... Trust me, sweet eye-rolling creature with the wet wings and milk mustache...

So, I was concerned about their order of priorities and wrote this on the family white board one day: 

Love is putting others ahead of yourself. 

Who knew just one week later I would be showing Natalie those words in action. The breakup with her boyfriend has been very difficult on this tender-hearted daughter of mine. I have been spending every moment I can with her since that day, encouraging and building her back up. On Friday I made her breakfast, and with a smile on top of my badly aching back I said, "what can I do to make you feel better today?" She answered, "I would like to take a long walk today." Yikes. Ok, back..we gotta pull it together, I told myself. "Ok, we can do that," I told her.  Well, instead of the walk, she ended up helping with some game prep for the youth retreat she ended up missing, so my back got a break, but I was willing! I asked her then since she didn't feel up to going to her retreat, what could we do on Saturday. She answered, "shopping." I took a deep breath. Since being so laid up, I haven't really left the house! The last time I went shopping I had a panic attack and ended up in ER. So, bravely, I said, "Well, I'll be honest, it's going to be hard, but I will try. I can't guarantee a big trip at the mall, but I can handle one store." 

She agreed to one store, and I did fine. I did better than fine! Steve waited out in the mall while I helped Natalie shop, then I encouraged her to go to 4 other stores! And I did great! Praise The Lord. We even went to our favorite place for dinner and then to Wal-Mart and bought a stack of movies to watch to pass some time. We laughed, goofed around in the toy department, and for a day it just felt perfect. If it just wasn't for that girl's broken little heart...

But we'll get there...God hears our prayers and those of the ones who lifted her up at our request. Thank you so much for understanding that these things are just as important to her as the big things in life are to us adults, and it's all important to God. We feel blessed and privileged to stand in His presence and ask for anything, knowing He cares for us so much. 

Love means putting others above ourselves. Sometimes learning that lesson involves action, and my prayers to God a week ago have been answered in the most unusual way. A break up, a hurt back, a trip to the mall, and more to come. I can't wait to tell you the rest of the story. Be blessed.