I had to psyche myself up all day for this. 4 of my seizures happened in public places. They are preceded by an "aura", much like you'd experience before a classic migraine. My vision and speech are affected, but I also get a very terrifying panicky feeling and will get this strange ice cold feeling in my body. My heart races and in some cases my blood pressure soars. I never know what's going to present, so I've become anxious. I am on the highest dose of anti convulsive medication, a side effect being anxiety! Oh, isn't that smart of the scientist making that drug?
Anyway, I now have to take Xanax just to leave the house. I'm not very appreciative of people who make fun of Xanax or other anti-anxiety meds. If you've ever experienced a true panic attack, you would respect the drug. It works, however, it also lowers the threshold for my seizures. I hope it's temporary! I finally see the neurologist on Friday morning. This is where I will see the " abnormal cerebral dysfunction" on paper. I can find out exactly what part of my brain is affected (I'm guessing temporal lobe), and hopefully we can dial down the anti seizure ( zombie makers) drugs.
We make a lot of seizure jokes around the house and I figure I can blame everything on my malfunctioning brain! Burned dinner? Dang brain! Forgot your birthday? Misfire in the membrane!
Most of all, try to stay positive and let God do His thing through me!
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