Thankful

I'll be following up with my regular doc this week, to talk about the "abnormal cerebral dysfunction". I gotta tell ya, those are some nasty words to say "sick in the head"! :) I just heard back from the neurologist, who can't see me until the end of April. So, on with the strong meds until then. What can I do? It's tough to be at the mercy of others and have to trust in the medical process. So, I trust God with my results. That's what I have to do. 

I don't like not being able to drive and feeling dependent on others. A fairly private person, I not only don't share a lot of my news, I censor it so people don't worry and fuss. But I do need people. I'm thankful for the small handful of real people in my life. Ever so thankful for the dog in my lap too! 

This is my test. Everyone gets one, sooner or later. Mine is on. It's a chance to learn that I'm not a Lone Ranger and it's not healthy to be one. A chance to spend my whole day relying on Gods strength for mine. Another opportunity to tell others what He is doing with this mess to make it His message. To know that I may feel empty and somewhat useless, God still deems me worthy to use as His vessel. 

I truly believe that this will make me stronger, more appreciative, and closer to God. While I could waste time asking "why?" Or saying "again?" I am blessed to know that this thinking would be counterproductive to my healing. Some people just don't have it "easy". Some get life-altering sentences. Some don't get to be "normal". We all know life isn't fair. But it's what we do with what we're given that changes us and others for the better. 

A young man from our church was laid to rest after an "unfair" life and an "unfair" diagnosis, and an "unfair" end. But he touched more lives with his disability in 38 years than some people do with a " normal" long life. My neighbors lost their precious 50 year old daughter to cancer this past week. Senseless cancer. But a beautiful woman who lived a life of purpose, even for this short time. 

No life is lost in vain, not a life who loves The Lord. These two lives changed the way I saw my diagnosis last week. I may have a life-altering situation, but I know how to use it. Thank you to all of you who know how to persevere, appreciate what you have, and allow The Lord to use you. What a blessing you are to others and to me.