Mom: Blossomed

I became a mom on the day I found out I was expecting my first baby. I was already 8 weeks along before I found out. See, we had been trying to start a family for a very long time, and had decided to let our dreams go for awhile. I didn't even notice the changes I was going through. I was in a state of denial and defeat. Imagine the joy I felt when I realized why chicken nuggets were grossing me out all of the sudden!
We had already decided that if God didn't intend for us to be parents, I would do one of two things....buy a cool jeep or get braces. The braces were cheaper! So, silly me, I had several teeth removed (while unknowingly pregnant) and went for the metal. Boy, was I a sight to see. Pregnant with braces on my teeth. I remember thinking God had a great sense of humor, and remembered to thank him daily for the desire of my heart, growing inside me.
I won't go through the whole story, as birth stories can be pretty descriptive! What I will tell you is the transformation I went through, from "me" to "mommy". Suddenly, all I cared about was keeping her safe. I wanted to do everything right. I wanted to eat well, drive slow, and stay home. I didn't want to let her down in any way, I didn't want anyone else to either. She was my cub, and I was the mother bear, claws ready for any who threatened my cub. I had big plans for the mother I would be. I certainly wasn't going to be one of "those" moms....well, until you actually have children, you cannot understand moms very well at all. It's just the way it is. I certainly was one of "those" moms after all! Not perfect, not "with it", and certainly not mother of the year. But, I did my best by her, and I learned on her, my first. I guess she forgave me for all the mistakes because she still likes me. I still have much to learn, that's for sure.
I am definitely not the girl I was before I had my girls. You can't become a mom and not be changed. Your heart, your mind, your soul, your goals, your desires, your plans. All of it changes when you suddenly become responsible for someone who calls you "mom". You may continue to be the same person, job-wise, hobby-wise, friend-wise, and spouse-wise, but something in you clicks. The mom light comes on, and you will never be the same again. It is a precious gift to be the mother of my girls. It is a tremendous responsibility to do this parenting thing well. It is a daily challenge and a daily reward. It is a bunch of tears wrapped up in laughter. It is worries and fears mixed with contentment and peace. It is holding on tight while letting go. It is allowing them to fly while still wanting them safely in the nest. It is wanting something for you, but wanting more for them. It is staying home when you want to go, and sick children on your only day off. It is selfless love, and it is a gift. Precious and to be savored. An honor.
I don't want to rush my mom career. I want every day to be focused on love, no matter what kind of day we have. I don't want to miss a thing. I may have a lot of jobs in my life, but this one will be the one I will never forget, regret, or dread. I may not have a bunch to show for the choice to stay home and raise them, but I know that watching them grow up will be my reward. I have spoken to other seasoned moms who chose to stay home with their kids, and the one thing I've heard consistently is that if they had to do it all over, they wouldn't change a thing.
I love being a mom, but I have a hard time letting go. I can't even scrapbook their younger days because it brings back a flood of emotion. I know I must get over that soon so I can continue with my books! This mom just needs time to continue to blossom and grow, just like my girls.

Happy mom's day to you daughters, moms and ladies....cherish it!