The "Great" Laundry Experiment

One of our favorite TV shows is "The Middle". The working class parents of three needy kids never seem to get their own way. They never get the pizza they want, see the tv shows they like, or go do fun things with their friends. In this episode, they did all that and more, much to the surprise and disgust of their kids. In short, they "took back the house". Oh, I dream of doing that one day, but for now, I do it in spurts.

Take "The Great Laundry Experiment", for example. You've never heard of it because I just made it up! But it was a sort of successful point in our family history which will one day hopefully be repeated. Let me explain...

I had been upstairs doing the much dreaded girls rooms and bathroom inspections and came away completely disgusted by their lack of attention. There were clean clothes mixed with dirty, clothes stuffed in opened, crooked dresser drawers, clothes under the beds, messes everywhere! We had been warning them about this for a long time, and it just never seemed to gel.

I was already feeling the stress and pressures of the holiday season and it just made my blood boil to think that they were being so ungrateful with the nice things they had. After all, I wear the same two pairs of jeans all the time! I don't have cute boots and scarves, not to mention matching undies!! And here they lay in heaps, uncared for and unappreciated. I was livid. Again, I picked up the phone and was forced to apologize to my mom for being such a bratty ungrateful kid.

So, I picked them up from school, let them go on about their wonderful school day, then I dropped my bomb. "You obviously don't appreciate having clean clothes and someone who does your laundry for you. Today you will do your own laundry. You will not watch TV or do anything else remotely fun. You will turn your own clothes right side out, unroll your smelly socks, wash, dry, fold, and put away your own laundry. Starting today." I'm sure I said more, and it probably went something like this if the girls were to tell it...blah blah blah blabbity blah blah...eye roll. Remember, they know more than I do now at this special preteen point in their lives.

I waited for the fallout that was sure to come. I may have even winced just a little, trying to cover any obvious sign of fear. "Okay, fine", said youngest Serena. "No problem." Said obviously sarcastic older one, Natalie. Are they messin' with me? That was way too easy, I thought. I didn't turn my back on them on the way into the house, just in case.

They got home and began the task of dragging all the dirty clothes downstairs. It took them awhile to sort them all out, and they were arguing in my tiny laundry room, banging around in there, fighting over who was dumping in the soap. Who would do the fabric softener. Who got to push the button. I swear they turn into 2 year olds sometimes.

It wasn't long and the laundry experiment was under way. Serena really got into her role and soon was looking all over the house for things to wash. She singlehandedly washed every dirty piece of clothing in the house. Now, our undies were folded rather oddly, but she didn't do such a bad job for an 11 year old. She had to keep reminding her sister to help out. Now she really knew how I felt, didn't she?? I complained as she gave me a pile of my shirts and told her maybe I'd just dump them on the floor of my closet. Then I smiled for good measure. She didn't think it was funny at all apparently.

They embraced the task so well that I was almost disappointed. I really wanted them to struggle. I wanted them to feel how frustrating doing this job could be for one person. The truth is, they don't really care if their clothes are clean. They'll wear them dirty if it's the favorite pair of skinny jeans anyway. They don't care if they're wrinkled. They don't care if they're in the right drawers or even folded in there! I try to make them care, but that is a losing battle in itself. It's actually cool to wear mismatched socks, so we can't even argue about the socks being paired properly anymore.

We parents really are trapped in our homes by our children, aren't we? When's the last time you ordered the pizza the way YOU wanted it? When's the last time you stayed out late having fun, not worrying about the kids? Do YOU ever get to pick the movie or the snack? NO! Moms and Dads, we really need to "take back the house"! They need to do our stinkin' laundry too!

I couldn't "break" my kids with one day of laundry, and I may lose many daily battles. Steve and I are keeping our eyes on the "big" picture, which is the only thing that keeps us remotely sane. And what IS that BIG picture anyway? Maybe sitting in a quiet house, watching Castle freely, eating pizza with our favorite toppings, hanging out with friends, and maybe, just maybe, we'll wear mismatched socks.