Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen

Sometimes I don't know where my "place" is, but I certainly know where it is not! I spent some time in an online forum, where someone was inquiring as to why people give her such a hard time over being an atheist. And boy, did I take some punches with my response!

First of all, I was respectful, non-judgmental (though it was extremely difficult to remain that way), and patient. I wanted to answer the question in a way that would intrigue the person, not send her running. Be honest, some Christians can be overwhelming! Some people caress and some people punch you in the nose!

Well, my well-composed answer was still met with hostility, and it was, of course, because I wasn't agreeing with her. Sadly, many people chimed in with her, promoting the lifestyle. One even gave reasons why other people should stop believing in God.

I tried to remain in control, though I wanted to say some pretty pointed things back. Luckily, I have slow speed and it takes forever to get to where I want to go! In fact, the Lord was trying to tell me not to respond because my computer froze up both times I went back there to answer! "Be slow to speak, quick to listen..."

I wasn't the only Christian responding, but for some reason, I was taking most of the heat. It made me realize quickly that for me to be an effective witness, I really have to get my temper under control. Nothing makes me madder than someone dissing my God! Nothing! And it caught me at a time where I felt physically ill when I read the posts. I was crying inside, wanting to cry on the outside too. Wow. I can't even control my justified anger!

People tell you not to take it personally when someone doesn't agree with your beliefs. Oh, but I do. It's because the Lord resides in me that I do take it very much to heart. I know that I have to be strong when facing my allies and be the best witness I can be for Him. I do know that "it's not about me", but I am still being shaped for better use, I guess. Lots of rough edges to rub off!

I had to leave that forum, and permanently delete my membership. I just couldn't take it any more. I was becoming angry, judgmental, irritated, and ready for a smackdown.

I was so annoyed by the lack of intelligence, to be honest with you. A lack of wisdom. Huge lack of grace. Huge lack of knowledge. I guess it's what the world is full of, and God is not of this world. That is what makes it such a stunning contrast. I can only pray that those who have strayed and have in fact rejected God will somehow be brought back into the light. I really don't mean to sound as arrogant as that sort of came across, but I felt I was dealing with people who just wanted to ruffle feathers and not learn anything at all.

Can I remain objective about atheism? I guess not. I wish I was more understanding of others' beliefs, and to a point I am. The irony of it all was that the woman posted this question because her friends were turning their backs on her for her beliefs or giving her a hard time about it. If she really didn't care what they or anyone else thought, then why pose the question at all? Seems to me she had some cracks in her foundation. I can only hope.

For now I will work on my own cracks so that when faced with adversity, I can handle the heat!