The Bright Side

My youngest daughter has still been dealing with some "stuff" at school with her former best friend, and it has been a learning experience for both of us. I am so glad that I didn't go through that stuff in school. I had enough going on at home to keep me busy at that age! Anyway, her negativity about it has forced me to find the positives in her situation. I can certainly understand why she's feeling negative. She's 9, she's hurt, and she's angry! However, I keep reminding her that it is more important to see the good in every person and in every situation. She said to me one night, "I've already forgiven her, so why am I still upset?" Oh, such a good question, and one I've asked myself a million times in the past. Well, it started a discussion about forgiveness, and of course, we thankfully have the Bible to help really press the point!
To forgive someone really is simply to let go of the offense and to stop being angry with them. It could take a day, a week, a month, a year, or several years. God will help us to forgive someone because he tells us in His Word that we are to forgive others. Oh, what a comfort it is to know that we don't have to do this difficult thing on our own. We don't have to feel guilty about it either. We'll forgive with God's help in whatever amount of time it takes.

It may seem that I am making a big deal out of her friendship thing, but remember, to her it IS a big deal. I know it will blow over, I know she has other friends, I know why it's all happening! But, SHE doesn't know that yet. That's why we talk about it. A LOT! It is so hard, because I don't want her to dwell on it, yet I don't want to ignore it. Such a touchy balance to try to manage sometimes.

Her CLC teacher, Kim, told me that Serena has a wiseness about her that is unlike the other kids. She has a deep compassion that shows in her concern for others. Some of her reactions aren't "kidlike" at all. I know this, and that's why it's hard to parent her sometimes. I wish I could just press a button and make her little again, and naive to things that she shouldn't even be worrying about yet. That girl was born aware. She has been this way since I can remember. I surely have to stay one step ahead of her or we're both in trouble!

So, each day she hops in the van, I tell her she is allowed to vent, but only after I hear about the positive things in her day and what she learned. On Friday, she told me a boy "asked her out" to a scary movie. She replied, "Well, that would be a no on both things. First, my parents don't allow me to watch anything scary, and two, I'm never allowed to date." Good girl! I asked her, "was that a bad thing or a good thing about your day?" She said it was bad because she doesn't like the boy, but good because she's taller and didn't think short boys would ever ask her out! I really had to chuckle at that! Where would they "go" anyway, I wonder?

One of my long term goals is to write a book, and sometimes I wonder if this is the subject I'm meant to write about. My girls. Growing Up. My own growing pains. I will one day be thanking Serena for giving me so much to write about!

Be blessed, and remember to keep it on the bright side!